Biden Battles the Black Shuck: Ex-Prez Faces Aggressive Prostate Cancer

A Witcher's Lament: News from the Human Realm

Hmm winds howling... and not just from some angry djinn. Seems this Joe Biden a former chieftain in the lands of Murica has caught a nasty illness: prostate cancer. Aggressive kind too spread to the bones. Makes a Witcher think... humans always battling monsters even the ones inside themselves.

Gleason Score of 9? That's Worse than a Noonwraith

This 'Gleason score' of 9... sounds like something out of the Book of Monsters. Apparently it measures how ugly the cancer is. And a 9? That's uglier than a drowners' convention. They say it's hormone sensitive though. So maybe a bit of mage magic can help. Or a strong potion if I had to guess. Though I'd stick with mage magic.

Trump's 'Recovery' Wish: Lip Service or Genuine Concern?

Even the Pumpkin King Donald Trump sent his regards. 'Fast and successful recovery,' he says. Seems everyone is hoping for the best even the one’s you despise. Though with politicians who knows what’s behind the mask? Could be a genuine wish or just the wind blowing words of feigned kindness.

Kamala's Prayers: Will the Gods Listen?

Kamala Harris is offering prayers. Gods huh? Never been my type. Too many rules too little ale. But if it brings Biden comfort who am I to judge? After all even Witchers need a bit of luck sometimes even if it's just to avoid a sudden Griffin attack or the taxman.

Aches Pains and Politics: The Price of Power

They talk about Biden's age and health during his reign. Another calamitous debate performance eh? Guess even a seasoned politician can stumble. Though to Biden's credit he isn't running scared now. Though a retreat is sometimes better than a grave. But at least he is getting help.

Cancer Moonshot: A Noble Quest But Will It Succeed?

He even had a 'cancer moonshot' idea. Halving the death rate? Ambitious. Reminds me of Foltest promising me a kingdom for lifting a curse. Big words easy to speak hard to deliver. Still if it saves lives it's a quest worth pursuing. Even if it takes more than Witcher magic to pull off.