Tech Stocks EXPLODE! Is This the Beginning of World War III... of Investing?!

Hail to the King Baby...of Tech!

Alright listen up you stock lovin' freaks! Duke Nukem here reporting live from the financial battlefield. This week in tech was crazier than a stripper with a grenade. The Nasdaq bounced around like a pinball in a porn shop but guess what? It still managed a 7% jump. 'Come get some!' of that sweet sweet green!

Nvidia's Soaring Higher Than My Jetpack!

Nvidia that chip slinging behemoth led the charge rocketing over 17%. That’s bigger than my ego on a Monday morning! Amazon also jumped 8% proving that even in the digital jungle some giants still know how to swing. And don't even get me started on Alphabet Microsoft and Meta – they all jumped nearly 8% too. It’s enough to make a guy say 'Damn I look good!'... even when I'm looking at their balance sheets.

Tesla's Shakin' It Like a Polaroid Picture!

Tesla that electric buggy that everyone’s been watching had its best session since 2013 adding over 5%. Even Apple the fruit themed money printer had its best day since 1998. This week had more twists than a snake in a disco. Trump's tariff talk sent markets climbing one day and plummeting the next. It's like he's saying 'I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all outta gum!'

The Magnificent Seven Got a Bit Less Magnificent...

Remember those 'Magnificent Seven' tech stocks that everyone was drooling over? Turns out they've all lost some of their shine this year. Tesla's leading the decline shedding over a third of its value. Maybe they should have called me for some investing tips. I know a thing or two about making things explode… in a good way of course. 'Shake it baby!'

Underdogs Unleashed!

But not everyone was feeling the pain! Palantir skyrocketed nearly 20% and AppLovin jumped about 14%. Oracle and Salesforce added a few percentage points too. It's like the little guys finally decided to say 'Groovy!' and show those big shots what they're made of.

Semiconductors: More Like Semi CONDUCTORS!

The semiconductor sector was hotter than a babe in a bikini. The VanEck Semiconductor ETF rose 11%. Broadcom soared 24% while Applied Materials KLA Corporation and Lam Research rallied at least 14% each. Even Taiwan Semiconductor Advanced Micro Devices and Qualcomm edged up at least 7%. These guys are printing money faster than I can reload my shotgun. 'Lets Rock!'