Nvidia's Stock Blows Past $3 Trillion! Hail to the King, Baby!

Nvidia: Number One With a Bullet!

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! Nvidia's stock? It's not just up it's going supernova! Five days straight of hitting new highs. These guys are tougher than a two dollar steak and they're back on top baby! Looks like Microsoft and Apple better bring some serious heat if they wanna keep up with this kind of firepower.

Size Does Matter: Market Cap Mania!

We're talking about a market cap so huge it makes my entire arsenal look like a pea shooter. At $3.8 trillion Nvidia's bigger than my ego after saving the world… again. And get this the stock is up 66% since April. Damn I love being right!

Wedbush Analyst: "Come Get Some" Forecast!

Some brainiac at Wedbush Securities Dan Ives says Nvidia and Microsoft are gonna break the $4 trillion mark this summer and hit $5 trillion in the next year and a half. Sounds like somebody's been playing with a full deck! If they keep this up they might just get a piece of the Nukem action. Maybe.

China Crisis? More Like a Minor Inconvenience!

So Nvidia had a little boo boo with China. Trump and Biden those jokers slapping export controls on their chips. Huang was cryin' about getting locked out of a $50 billion market. 'What are you waiting for Christmas?' I always say! But hey even a king has a bad day. The important thing is they didn't let it slow them down. They're still kicking alien ass metaphorically speaking of course.

Robots: The Future is Now and It's Automated!

Huang's got his eye on robotics now. Says it's the next big thing after AI. Billions of robots millions of self driving cars robotic factories... powered by Nvidia. Sounds like a job for Duke! Who needs a vacation when you can have a robot army?

Nvidia: Always Bet on Duke… I Mean Nvidia!

So there you have it. Nvidia's on top they're innovating and they're not taking any prisoners. Just like yours truly. Remember kids always bet on Duke… I mean Nvidia! It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and they're all outta gum!