Hail to the King, Baby! UK and US About to Get it On (Trade-Wise, That Is)

Shake it Baby! A Deal is Brewing

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! Word on the street is that the UK is about to become the first country to strike a trade deal with the good ol' US of A after Trump decided to play hardball with those 'reciprocal' tariffs. Looks like someone's been playing their cards right! NYT broke the story saying that Trump hinted at a briefing about a deal. Maybe he'll even wear a tie that isn't too damn long for once. But like I always say "I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all outta gum."

White House on Mute Figures

CNBC tried to get some answers from the White House and the British Embassy but they were ghosting them! Probably too busy counting their gold bars or something. We don't know if it's a done deal or just some foreplay before the real action starts. You know how these things go baby.

Britain dodges a Bullet (Kinda)

So Britain runs a trade deficit with the U.S. but they avoided the really nasty tariffs. Still got hit with a 10% love tap though. Hey nobody said playing with Uncle Sam was gonna be easy. I've faced down aliens with bigger guns and badder attitudes. This is nothing.

Vance Gives the Thumbs Up

Remember JD Vance? That Vice President dude? He said Britain had a 'good chance' of scoring a deal. Well looks like he might've been right. Maybe. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes right? But hey it's in both countries best interests so what could go wrong?

Trump Plays Hard to Get

But hold on to your hats folks! Trump the King of Mixed Signals contradicted his own peeps. Said the U.S. doesn't need to 'sign deals.' Says everyone wants a piece of our market and we are way to sexy for them. Sounds like a Duke Nukem line if I ever heard one. 'Nobody steals our freedom!' or in this case our markets.

It's Time to Kick Ass (and Maybe Make a Deal)

So what's the bottom line? Britain and the U.S. might be getting ready to tango. But with Trump at the helm who the hell knows what's gonna happen? All I know is I'll be watching from the sidelines ready to kick some ass if things go south. And if they don't? Well I'll find something else to blow up. 'Come get some!' and maybe a new trade agreement.