Hail to the King, Baby! Big Oil's Big Problem with Buybacks!

What the Hell Happened Here?

Alright ladies and gentlemen Duke Nukem here reporting live from the front lines of the financial battlefield! Seems like our pals in Big Oil are facing a bit of a squeeze. They've been showering shareholders with cash like it's going out of style but with oil prices taking a nosedive faster than I can say 'Groovy,' those fat payouts might be in trouble. As Trump would say: SAD!

Show Me the Money… Or Lack Thereof

These big shots at Shell ExxonMobil and the whole gang have been bragging about how they can keep the party going with dividends and buybacks. But some pencil pushing analysts are saying 'Hold on a minute!' They're worried that these companies are already stretching their wallets thinner than a stripper's patience. And let's be honest nobody wants to see that! Espen Erlingsen from Rystad Energy put it best: they've got "few economically attractive options." Sounds like someone needs a new pair of shades… and maybe a bailout.

Buybacks on the Chopping Block?

Erlingsen is dropping truth bombs folks. He's saying that these companies are pushing ahead with buybacks while their cash flow is shrinking. That's like trying to outrun a Cycloid Emperor on a scooter! He thinks buybacks will be the first thing to go if prices stay down. As I always say "I'm gonna live forever!"… but these buybacks? Maybe not so much.

A Year of Living Lavishly

Last year was a record breaker for shareholder payouts hitting a whopping $119 billion! That's enough to buy a lifetime supply of bubblegum and cigars… and maybe a small country. But if they keep spending like that this year they'll be giving away over 80% of their cash. Time to tighten those belts fellas or you'll be singing a different tune. "Suffer now that's gonna hurt later."

Bye Bye Buybacks?

Bank of America is already waving the white flag predicting cuts in buybacks from companies like BP Repsol and Eni. Only Shell TotalEnergies and Equinor are expected to keep their buyback parties going strong. BP is already feeling the pain cutting its buyback program after a rough quarter. Looks like someone's getting a little… tender.

The Future's So Bright…Maybe

Barclays' Lydia Rainforth thinks BP's future could be "really bright"… but only if they survive the next six months. She says they need to sell off some assets and start saving some cash. Sounds like a plan but I've got a better one: more explosions! After all as I always say "My way or the highway!" Duke out!