Hail to the King, Baby! 60 Minutes Loses a Top Gun!

What the Hail Happened?

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! Duke Nukem here dropping in to report on some serious BS going down at '60 Minutes.' Apparently their executive producer Bill Owens just straight up rage quit last week. And why? Corporate overlords breathing down his neck that's why! Sounds like someone needed to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all outta gum!

Extra Supervision? Sounds like a Pain in my Ass!

Scott Pelley that talking head on '60 Minutes,' basically spilled the beans on air. He said nobody's happy about the 'extra supervision' the suits are laying down. 'Extra supervision'? Gimme a break! Sounds like someone's trying to censor the news. And we all know what happens when you try to censor the Duke... you're gonna have a bad time.

Trump vs. 60 Minutes: It's Payback Time!

Turns out the ex president Trump's got a serious beef with '60 Minutes.' Something about a Kamala Harris interview being edited unfairly. Trump's slapped them with a $20 BILLION lawsuit! Talk about a Hailstorm! Owens and his crew think they did nothing wrong and rightfully so so they’re not backing down and they've opposed a settlement so now Paramount wants to supervise ALL the stories!

Zirinsky to the Rescue? Or Ruin?

To make matters even better they've brought in Susan Zirinsky some old CBS News president to 'look at' the stories before they air. Look at? More like 'hack at!' I bet she's got her corporate claws all over the place. No one is happy about this and that's the bottom line because Stone Cold said so!

No Stories Blocked... Yet!

Pelley claims no stories have been blocked but Owens felt he lost his independence. That's a load of crap and you can take that to the bank. Once the suits start poking around it's only a matter of time before they start pulling punches. The man clearly chose to go out on his own terms. Respect!

Duke's Two Cents: Time to Nuke 'Em!

Bottom line? This whole thing stinks like a Pig Cop convention. Corporate meddling censorship and a former president throwing tantrums? Sounds like a job for Duke Nukem! Time to load up the shotgun and pay these pencil pushers a visit. I'll show them what happens when you mess with honest journalism! Now let's get these politicians!