Barefoot Bandits and Robe Rebels Hotel Hysteria Unveiled!

Hail to the King Baby... of Hotel Decorum!

Alright ladies and gentlemen Duke Nukem is in the house! And let me tell you this Hotels.com survey is a real eye opener. Apparently some folks think a hotel lobby is their personal living room. Walking around barefoot? Wearing a bathrobe like you own the place? Get real! I've seen better dressed aliens. These hotels are trying to keep it classy and some slobs are ruining it for everyone. Time to clean up this town one pair of shoes at a time!

No Shoes No Shirt No Service...No Exceptions!

Ninety four percent of people are grossed out by bare feet in hotels? You don't say! It's like these people forgot how to wear shoes. And robes in the lobby? It's not a damn pajama party! Reem Arbid from The Blue Door Kitchen & Inn gets it. Subtle cues like staff being respectful can help. But sometimes you gotta drop the hammer. If someone's yapping on their phone like they're selling used cars politely tell them to take it somewhere else. If they react negatively? Well that's when Duke Nukem steps in... metaphorically of course. Mostly.

Attire Alert: From Pajamas to Paradise...Or Not!

Ariel Barrionuevo from La Coralina Island House in Panama is singing my tune. Pajamas and bare feet at a high end retreat? That's just disrespectful. It's like bringing a Nerf gun to a boss fight! Etiquette guidelines in pre arrival emails? Not a bad idea. But some folks like Aidan O'Sullivan from Kilkea Castle understand it's not always about the clothes. Shirts and shoes are required in the restaurants and that's fair. But on the golf course? Non collared shirts and tracksuits are a no go! Keep it classy folks it's time to kick ass and look good doing it.

Modern Luxury: Are We Getting Too Soft?

Sam Jagger from The Maybourne Beverly Hills is taking a different approach. PJs at breakfast? Pups in beds? Kids enjoying the pool? They welcome it all! While Duke likes a little chaos there's a line. Respect for the safety and privacy of other guests is key. Mary D'Argenis Fernandez from MDA Hospitality Solutions agrees that strict dress codes are outdated. She's more concerned with public outbursts and bad behavior towards staff. I feel her pain. Sometimes you just want to say "I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all outta gum."

The "Fun Police" and Chair Hogs: A Hotelier's Nightmare!

Cassandra Wheeler a former guest service supervisor gets it. Being the "fun police" is tough. "We would just laugh smile and tell them to have a great day," she said. But some folks treat you like a personal servant. And don't even get me started on chair hogs! Sixty percent of people disapprove of that garbage! Marriott's Maui Ocean Club and St. George Beach Hotel & Spa Resort are taking action. One additional chair reservation? Allocated sunbeds? Finally some common sense! It's about damn time.

Duke's Decree: Leave the Hotel Better Than You Found It!

So what's the moral of the story? Don't be a jerk! Hotels are there for relaxation not to showcase your lack of social skills. Put on some damn shoes keep the PDA to a minimum and don't hog all the pool chairs. Show some respect for the staff and your fellow guests. Remember Duke Nukem is watching... and he's not afraid to say "Your ass your face what's the difference?" Now if you'll excuse me I have a bubblegum flavored cigar to enjoy.