President Trump clarifies he has no plans to remove Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell, causing stock futures to rise and Asmongold to question everything.
President Trump clarifies he has no plans to remove Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell, causing stock futures to rise and Asmongold to question everything.

What is Going On?

Alright alright settle down chat! Asmongold here ready to dive into this absolute dumpster fire of a news cycle. So Trump says he ain't gonna fire Powell. 'Never did!' he claims. Yeah and I've never spent money on V Bucks. We all know that's a load of bullcrap right? The dude was practically sharpening his axe to give Powell the ol' heave ho just last week.

The Drama Never Ends

Remember when Trump was calling Powell a 'major loser' and demanding lower rates? It's like watching a toddler throw a tantrum because he didn't get enough tendies. And then BAM! Suddenly he's all sunshine and rainbows saying the press is blowing things out of proportion. The man is a walking talking plot twist.

Stock Market Goes BRRR

Of course the stock market is loving this. Anytime there's a little bit of stability those stonks go flying to the moon. It's the kind of volatility that makes me want to yell at the universe. You know what I mean Zackrawrr's Law. But honestly I'm more confused than a gnome in a goblin convention. What is going on with this guys? Am I in the twilight zone?

Is Independence At Stake?

Now some folks are saying that firing the Fed chair would cause panic in the markets because it messes with the Fed's independence. And I say 'No duh Sherlock!' You don't need a PhD in economics to figure that one out. I can smell the stink of corruption from here. It's like the time Blizzard told us that Diablo Immortal was going to be amazing.

The Bald Man's Gambit

Powell bless his bald head is sitting pretty until 2026. He's basically saying 'Try and fire me I dare you!' It's a power move I'll give him that. But honestly with Trump you never know what's gonna happen next. It's like waiting for the next WoW expansion – you're excited but you're also bracing for disappointment.

So What Does This All Mean?

In the end who knows what's really going on? Maybe Trump had a change of heart. Maybe he's just playing 4D chess. Or maybe just maybe he realized that firing Powell would be a bigger dumpster fire than the Diablo Immortal announcement. All I know is I need another Mountain Dew and a nap. This world is too crazy for me.


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