Newark Airport's On Fire... Literally! (Okay, Not Literally, But Close Enough)

Newark: The New Bermuda Triangle?

Alright alright alright chat. Let's talk about Newark Airport. Apparently it's turning into the freaking Bermuda Triangle of air travel. Planes are disappearing... into delays! We've got equipment failures air traffic controller shortages the whole shebang. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy is out there saying this Newark nightmare is just a preview of what's to come for the whole country. Are you kidding me? Is this real life? Is this just fantasy? I mean COME ON!

90 Seconds of Pure Chaos

So these air traffic controllers in Newark they just... lost the ability to see and talk to planes for 90 seconds. Ninety seconds! That's all it takes for absolute chaos to ensue. It's like that time I tried to solo Onyxia and she one shot me. Ninety seconds and it's all over. Then you got these poor controllers taking 'trauma leave' because of the stress. I get it man. Dealing with the internet is stressful enough can't imagine guiding metal birds in the sky at the same time.

Runway Construction: The Bane of Our Existence

And to top it all off they're doing runway construction at the same time? Are you serious? It's like they're actively trying to make things worse! It's like pulling the Leeroy Jenkins move of airport management! I'm telling you someone needs to get fired. Maybe multiple someones.

Duffy's Grand Plan: More Money More Problems?

Duffy's got this 'sweeping plan' to modernize everything. Translation: he wants $31 billion from Congress. I mean sure fix the infrastructure. But let's be real throwing money at a problem doesn't always solve it. Remember Diablo Immortal? All the money in the world couldn't save that dumpster fire.

United Airlines CEO: The Prophet of Doom

Scott Kirby the CEO of United Airlines he's been screaming about this for years. He says the FAA is approving way too many flights for Newark to handle. He even dropped a quote: 'This math doesn't work!' No kidding Sherlock! It's like trying to fit 10 pounds of potatoes in a 5 pound bag. It's gonna explode. I'm with you Scott. You gotta tell it like it is even if it's a little too real.

The FAA's Brainstorming Session: A Comedy of Errors?

So the FAA is having a meeting with the airlines to talk about cutting flights. A meeting! That'll solve everything right? I can see it now: a bunch of suits sitting around a table drinking coffee and arguing about percentages. Meanwhile planes are circling Newark like vultures waiting for roadkill. It's a joke I tell you. An absolute joke. They should get me in there I'd fix everything EZ.