Maserati on the Chopping Block? Stellantis Considers Ditching Luxury Brand in Wild Portfolio Shakeup!

Too Many Brands Too Little Money

Alright alright alright! Listen up you beautiful baldies! Word on the street – and by street I mean Reuters – is that Stellantis the company that owns like 14 different car brands – is thinking about dumping Maserati. Yeah Maserati! The one luxury brand they got! It's like having a full inventory of mounts but you only ride the Traveler's Tundra Mammoth because let's be honest who has time for the others? Apparently having Chrysler Peugeot Jeep Alfa Romeo and a bunch of others is too much even for them. And if Stellantis is struggling what about us common folk? I mean come on!

Tavares Out Filosa In – The Plot Thickens

So get this – the old CEO Carlos Tavares was like 'Nah we keep 'em all!' But he bounced out in December after faceplanting in the US Market. Now they got a new guy Antonio Filosa stepping in and suddenly everything's on the table. It's like when your raid leader leaves and the new guy wants to change the entire strategy! I bet you he is a loot goblin! Elkann must of realized that its easier to trim the fat then to get good numbers!

McKinsey to the Rescue? Or Just Adding to the Chaos?

Stellantis brought in McKinsey you know the consultants to figure out what to do about those pesky U.S. tariffs on Maserati and Alfa Romeo. Because apparently rich people don't like paying extra taxes on their sports cars. Shocker! So McKinsey is exploring all options including the sale of Maserati. The only problem is that Stellantis has not specifically mandated McKinsey to find a buyer for Maserati. They have mandated them to consider all options including a potential sale. I bet you Stellantis does not even know what they are doing. It's like hiring a healer who only knows how to DPS but claims they can do both.

Falling Sales and Empty Promises

Let's talk numbers baby! Maserati's sales are in the toilet. Down by more than half in 2024! And they lost almost 300 million euros last year. OUCH! And they don't even have a new business plan. What happened to the last business plan? Did they give it to chat? All of you are probably like me too afraid to start a business. Some one should tell them "Just Do It"

Boardroom Brawl: To Sell or Not to Sell?

Apparently the Stellantis board is fighting over this. Some think Maserati is unsalvageable. Others think selling it would be a bad look. It is kind of like when you're in the middle of mythic plus and the tank and the healer start fighting each other over whose fault it is that the key broke. At least Stellantis is fighting behind closed doors we get all of the mythic plus toxicity on stream. The amount of people saying I am wrong even though they did 40k dps on a 20 key. Absolutely mind blowing.

China to the Rescue? Probably Not.

Of course the article mentions Chinese automakers might be interested. Because who else would want a struggling European luxury brand? But the article also mentions that this is to support their expansion into the market. So maybe they are as good as a life raft.