Iran-Israel War Goes BRRR: Did Someone Say Nuclear Winter?

The Zzzzz Strikes Back!

Alright chat gather 'round. So apparently Israel and Iran are having a bit of a *spicy* disagreement. And by 'spicy' I mean 'holy shit the world might end' spicy. Israel's been bombing Iran for three days straight and not just any targets oh no. We're talking nuclear sites military bases the whole shebang. It's like they're playing real life *Civilization* but with actual nukes. "Content! Content! Content!" You all scream at me from your mom's basements yeah yeah I know and I deliver. But seriously this is getting outta hand. Someone get Dr. Disrespect on the phone maybe he can negotiate a peace treaty with his *violence speed and momentum*.

Trump's Wild Card Move: Vetoing Assassination Attempts

So get this: apparently Israel had a plan to off Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei. But Trump in his infinite wisdom – and I use that term *very* loosely – vetoed it. Can you believe it? Trump the guy who loves a good deal said 'Nah let's not kill the supreme leader that's a bit much.' I mean the irony is thicker than my beard after a three day WoW binge. It's like he's trying to write the sequel to *The Art of the Deal* but this time it's *The Art of Not Starting World War III*. I wonder what ZackRawrr thinks about this?

Casualties? More Like Chaos ualties!

Okay here's the grim part: hundreds are dead thousands are wounded. And like nobody can agree on the exact numbers. Figures coming out of Iran are murky as always but a human rights group says hundreds have died. Classic. It's like trying to figure out the loot drop rates in *Diablo 4* – nobody knows the truth! Everyone's just guessing and arguing. Meanwhile the region is bracing for a long ass conflict. Buckle up buttercups this is gonna be a bumpy ride and probably not the fun kind from WoW's Darkmoon Faire.

Oil Refineries? More Like 'Oh Refinery'!

So Israel hit a couple of oil refineries. Oil prices are probably gonna spike so get ready to pay even more at the pump. Thanks Israel! Thanks Iran! My car only takes premium you know! It's always the damn oil isn't it? This isn't some kind of ZackRawrr conspiracy is it? It’s like watching a bunch of toddlers fighting over a sandbox except the sandbox is filled with highly flammable liquids and the toddlers have missiles. And of course the world economy is gonna feel it. Because nothing says 'stable global market' like a major war in the Middle East. The Zzzzz Strikes Back indeed!

Sirens and Shelters: A New Kind of Tourism

Sirens blaring people running for bomb shelters. Sounds like a normal Tuesday am I right? Iran and Israel are trading missile fire like they're playing a twisted version of dodgeball. Meanwhile Israel's airport is closed. So all those TwitchCon plans are probably on hold which I suppose is a good thing considering I'm too lazy to go anyway. I feel bad for the people caught in the middle of this. Meanwhile people are opening up Mosques for Bomb shelters! That is the right thing to do. But how much damage is going to be done before things get better?

Netanyahu's Bold Prediction: Regime Change... Maybe?

Netanyahu is out here saying regime change in Iran 'could certainly be the result' of this whole mess. Translation: 'We're gonna keep bombing until they overthrow their government or we run out of bombs.' He even claims Iran wants to give nukes to the Houthis. I mean come on that's straight outta a Tom Clancy novel. I wonder what the coin flip on that is? He also says he offed the intelligence chief for Iran's Revolutionary Guard Corps. Big if true I guess. All I know is this is escalating faster than my blood pressure when I see a *Diablo Immortal* ad. Maybe this whole thing is rigged!