Dudes, We're Doomed! World Bank Slashes Growth Forecasts Like I Slash My Hair

The Sky is Falling! (Again)

Alright alright settle down chat. Asmongold here and I'm not gonna lie this news from the World Bank ain't pretty. They're saying the global economy is gonna grow at a measly 2.3% in 2025. That's slower than my hairline receding! They initially said 2.7% but the system is failing okay? They're blaming trade uncertainty which basically means rich people are fighting over money and we're all gonna pay the price. Sounds about right. Remember the system is designed to screw you over and it is!

Trade Wars: The Real Endgame

Apparently these 'trade disputes' are messing everything up. Indermit Gill some fancy pants economist is saying that these disagreements are 'upending policy certainties'. What a load of bullcrap. It's all just rich dudes playing Risk with our lives! They want more money and they want it now! We will all end up eating grass at this rate.

USA! USA! (…Maybe Not So Much)

The US ain't looking too hot either folks. Their growth forecast got slashed too down to 1.4%. The Euro area is also looking at a measly 0.7%. Basically everyone is blaming everyone else. The blind leading the blind I'm telling you!

Tariffs: The Silent Killer

Tariffs tariffs tariffs! That's all they're talking about. Apparently if everyone just chilled out and lowered these tariffs things could get better. But you know these corporations will never do that. Greed is the ultimate WoW boss and it's unkillable! Do you guys not have phones?

Trump Did What?!

Oh and guess who's involved? Ding ding ding! You guessed it it's Trump. Slapping tariffs on everyone left and right. Now China and the US are meeting in London. Maybe they'll work something out or maybe they'll just end up yelling at each other and blaming each other. I'd bet on the latter honestly.

Eat the Rich!

So what does all this mean? Well it means we should all probably start learning how to forage for food and build underground bunkers. Or you know we could just keep grinding in WoW. At least the gold farmers will be doing fine! Remember the system is designed to screw you over. This is why you should hate your parents.