Disney's Money Printer Goes BRRR! Asmongold Reacts to Earnings Beat and New Theme Park

Disney's Not Dead Yet?!

Alright alright settle down chat! Let's talk about this Disney news. Apparently the House of Mouse isn't circling the drain just yet. They just dropped their fiscal second quarter earnings and what do you know? They actually BEAT expectations. Can you believe it? After all the woke garbage and terrible movies they pulled it off. Maybe there's hope for humanity after all… or maybe they just printed more money like the Federal Reserve. Either way someone's happy.

Disney+ Subscribers: A Surprise to Be Sure But a Welcome One

So Disney+ was supposed to be bleeding subscribers like a stuck pig right? Wrong! They actually added 1.4 million subscribers! 126 million people are still watching this stuff! Look I don't get it either. Maybe everyone's just too lazy to cancel their subscriptions. Or maybe they're all just waiting for the next Marvel movie even though it'll probably be woke garbage. Whatever the reason Disney's laughing all the way to the bank. What do you guys think? Are they paying people to sub?

Show Me the Money!

The revenue's up chat! Disney's direct to consumer business raked in $6.12 billion a whole 8% jump from last year. They're blaming it on higher prices and more subscribers but I think it's just good old fashioned corporate greed. But hey who am I to judge? Everyone's gotta make a living even if it means charging $10 for a bottle of water at Disneyland. They're making more than I am that's for sure and I'm sitting here balding and streaming 16 hours a day. I need a raise!

Theme Park Tycoon

And hold on to your hats folks because Disney's building a NEW THEME PARK AND RESORT IN ABU DHABI! Abu Dhabi? Seriously? Well I guess they've got enough money over there to build a real life Star Wars cantina. I wonder if they'll have blue milk? Probably charge $50 for it though. I guess they're going for the oil prince market now eh?

The Good the Bad and the Linear

So the entertainment segment is up thanks to films but linear TV is still tanking. Who's surprised? Nobody watches cable anymore. It's all about streaming even though Disney+ keeps raising its prices. But hey at least ESPN is doing alright probably thanks to all those football games. They aired extra games charged more for ads and made a killing. Capitalism baby! Maybe I should start streaming football... nah.

Experiences: Parks Cruises and Paying Too Much for a Mickey Mouse Hat

Parks and cruises are up probably because people are desperate to escape reality for a few days. And of course consumer products are selling like hotcakes thanks to the new Marvel Rivals game. I wonder if they'll add a Baldemort skin? Probably not. They'll probably add a woke Captain America skin. But hey at least someone's making money. All I know is that I could use a vacation to Disneyland but I'd probably spend all my money on those giant turkey legs. And then I'd complain about how overpriced everything is. Circle of life chat. Circle of life.