Cramer's COF Buy: Is He Finally Right About Something?!

Cramer's Gamble: A Bald Man's Perspective

Alright alright settle down chat! Asmongold here ready to dive into the absolute dumpster fire that is the stock market! So Jim Cramer bless his heart went ahead and bought 50 shares of Capital One (COF). Fifty! That's like what enough to buy a used car these days? He's increasing his Charitable Trust's weighting to 2.4%. A whole 2.4%! Guys I've seen bigger numbers on my tax returns after a good month of streaming and that is saying something let me tell you. "A little bit of patience went a long way," he says. More like a little bit of delusion am I right?

Chasing Gains or Just Plain Crazy?

Cramer is cautious about chasing huge upside swings. Well that's new! Usually he's all over the place like a goblin on speed screaming 'BUY! BUY! BUY!' Then a week later he's like 'SELL! SELL! SELL!' It's like watching a clown fiesta except the clowns are playing with my money! He's got cash on hand to get constructive as prices come down. Translation: he's hoping he didn't screw up too badly and can average down if it tanks. We've all been there brother.

Justice League...of Missed Opportunities

The Justice Department isn't blocking the Discover acquisition! That's...actually good news for Capital One. It's a big milestone says Cramer. It's like killing Onyxia but instead of getting a 22 slot bag you get...slightly less terrible earnings. The market's ignoring this. Classic! It's like when Blizzard announces a new mobile game at BlizzCon. Everyone just stares blankly and wonders where their life went wrong.

Recession Fears: Is This the Endgame?

Consumer spending slowdown and a possible recession are the big boogeymen here. Cramer acknowledges the fears which is surprising. He's usually so optimistic he makes a Paladin look like a nihilist. But he claims Capital One is 'well reserved' and the synergies will push earnings higher. "Synergies!" That's corporate speak for 'We're gonna fire a bunch of people and hope it works out!'

Is Cramer Finally Right? Don't Get Your Hopes Up!

So is this a good move? Honestly who knows? The market is about as predictable as my sleep schedule. It could go up it could go down it could trade sideways and make us all want to pull our hair out. But hey at least Cramer's got a Charitable Trust so if he loses money it's...for a good cause? Maybe? I'm not entirely sure how that works but it sounds nice.

Final Thoughts: Should You Buy Capital One?

Would I buy Capital One? Eh I'm not your financial advisor and if you're taking financial advice from a bald streamer with questionable hygiene you've already made some questionable choices in your life. But hey maybe Cramer's onto something. Or maybe he's just throwing darts at a board. Only time will tell. Now back to grinding for that Razorfen Kraul BiS!