Excellent! Burns's Stock Report: Layoffs, Love, and Lithium!

AeroVironment's Aerial Assault on Expectations!

Bah! Another defense contractor exceeding expectations. It seems even *they* are getting better returns than my power plant! AeroVironment eh? They make those little drones that buzz around like bothersome gnats I suppose. Well as long as they keep the riffraff away from *my* estate I suppose their success is... tolerable. Smithers make a note: see if we can't buy a controlling share. And Smithers remind me to look into manufacturing drones for... *personal* use.

Bumble's Sting: Layoffs for Love!

Bumble you say? A dating service? Preposterous! Love is for suckers and the weak. However their decision to slash 30% of their workforce... *excellent*. Efficiency is key Smithers! Reinvesting those savings? Good good. More money for... other ventures. Perhaps I should invest in a 'Burns Dating App.' The tagline? 'Are you good enough for *me*?' Smithers jot that down.

SiTime Stumbles: A Common Stock Calamity!

SiTime... what a ludicrous name. And now they're begging for money? A common stock offering? Sounds like a desperate ploy. Smithers remind me to short their stock. They'll be begging for scraps soon enough. As I always say 'money isn't everything it's the only thing'.

Worthington's Worthwhile Windfall!

Ah Worthington Enterprises. Manufacturing you say? Pedestrian but profitable apparently. Beating expectations... hmm. Smithers investigate. Perhaps they have some process that could be… *acquired*… for the power plant. Something to reduce those pesky safety regulations.

Yum Brands: Finger Lickin' Good Profits!

KFC Taco Bell Pizza Hut... the purveyors of heart disease and questionable meats! And yet they thrive! JPMorgan upgrades them? Bah! The masses are easily pleased. As long as they keep the rabble fed and docile I suppose it's all the same to me. Perhaps I should start selling 'Burns Burgers' made of slightly irradiated meat. It'll build character!

BlackBerry's Back! Sort Of…

BlackBerry? Still around? I thought those things went the way of the dodo! Cybersecurity you say? Well better late than never. Good for them. Perhaps they can protect *my* data from those pesky hackers. And that new energy company QuantumScape I'll need to look into that. Smithers! More coffee! And remind me to write a strongly worded letter to the New York Democratic Primary... for reasons of course.