World's Oldest Bank About to Make a YUGE Mistake!?

What in the Bald Headed Heck is Going On?

Alright alright settle down you beautiful baldies. Asmongold here ready to drop some truth bombs on this absolute dumpster fire of a financial situation. So Monte dei Paschi – sounds like some fancy pasta dish right? – is trying to buy Mediobanca for a cool 13 billion euros. Now I'm no financial guru but even I can smell the desperation radiating off this deal like a sweaty nerd at a Magic: The Gathering tournament. They were bailed out by the Italian government in 2017. I mean... what?

The CEO is Coping

Their CEO Luigi Lovaglio bless his heart is out here saying "Monte dei Paschi 'is back' and 'in control of our destiny.'" Yeah buddy that's what they all say right before the market kicks them in the teeth. He's acting like it's all sunshine and rainbows but I'm seeing red flags waving like crazy. Market turbulence? No problem! Just keep telling yourself that Luigi. Maybe it'll come true if you say it enough. I think he is LARPing as a successful business man.

Size Matters (That's What She Said!)

Lovaglio is going on about how "size matters" and they need to "diversify revenues." Look I get it. Size does matter especially when you're talking about...banking. But this whole thing reeks of trying to compensate for something if you know what I mean. It is cope after all.

Analyst Tears... Delicious!

Of course analysts are divided because what else are they gonna do? Deutsche Bank is all like "Oh there are hidden opportunities!" While Barclays is straight up saying this deal is gonna drain Monte dei Paschi's resources faster than I drain a Dr. Pepper during a 16 hour stream. Who do you trust? The guys saying everything's fine or the guys saying the sky is falling? I'm leaning towards the sky is falling crowd on this one. Just saying!

A Fair Price? Or a Fairytale?

Lovaglio claims it's a "fair price," but won't say if they'll sweeten the deal. Come on man! Be real with us! This is like when Blizzard says they're listening to the community. We all know how that ends! Also you gotta ask yourself what are the reasons behind not sweetening the deal. Are they broke? Are they stupid? I would guess both.

A Slow Motion Train Wreck

The stock prices of both banks are down since this whole charade started. It's like watching a slow motion train wreck except instead of twisted metal it's billions of euros swirling down the drain. And Lovaglio is talking about a second phase of consolidation in two years? Dude focus on not going bankrupt first! This is just content for the stream at this point.