Holy Crap Lois! Germany Just Got a New Money Guy and He Plays GUITAR!

Who the Heck is Lars Klingbeil?

Alright so apparently this Lars Klingbeil fella is gonna be Germany's new finance minister. Now I don't know much about German politics mostly because I'm usually too busy trying to figure out how to get a free refill on my beer at The Drunken Clam. But apparently this guy is a big deal. They say he's part of the Social Democratic Party which sounds like something Stewie would come up with to take over the world. You know something like 'The Society for Diabolical Plans' but with more schnitzel.

From Guitar Hero to Finance Zero (Experience?)

Now here's the kicker Lois. This guy doesn't have a TON of experience with money stuff. I mean I've got more experience counting my bar tab after a night with Quagmire and that's saying something. But get this he's a guitar player! A ROCK STAR! It's like when I thought I could be a professional baseball player because I watched 'The Natural' once. Giggity. But hey maybe he'll bring some rock and roll to the German economy. Maybe he'll start printing money with his face on it! It’s like that time I became the Pope good times good times.

New Job Who Dis?

So Klingbeil is taking over from some guy named Joerg Kukies. Kukies? Sounds like something you'd find in a cookie jar! Anyway this Klingbeil guy is also gonna be the vice chancellor whatever that is. Sounds like a fancy janitor position. But seriously they're putting him in charge of setting up the rest of the team which is kinda like me trying to organize a surprise party for Lois. It usually ends with me setting the house on fire.

Tax Man Cometh? (Maybe)

Now they say this Klingbeil is a bit of a conservative. He wants a higher minimum wage and pension reform. Sounds alright. He's also open to higher taxes... OH CRAP! That's where I draw the line! Higher taxes? That's worse than when Petercopter malfunctioned! I better start hiding my Duff Goldman Cupcake Mix box! But who knows maybe it'll be okay. Remember that time I ran for school board? It all worked out… mostly.

Germany's Got Problems Ya Know

So Germany's got some issues. Their economy is kinda blah their roads are probably full of potholes (like Quahog!) and they're dealing with some trade wars with the U.S. Sounds like a regular Tuesday in Quahog! But apparently this new coalition government is gonna try to fix things. They're even changing their debt rules and making a big fund for climate stuff. Climate stuff? Sounds like something Lisa Simpson would be all over! Oh wait wrong show.

Fingers Crossed (and Beer Held High)

So there you have it. Lars Klingbeil is the new German finance minister. He plays guitar might raise taxes and has to fix Germany's problems. Sounds like a lot of pressure! I hope he knows what he's doing. But hey at least he's not me running the country. Because if I was in charge we'd all be eating nothing but Pawtucket Patriot beer and watching Conway Twitty videos all day long! Giggity!