Holy Crap Lois! California Wildfires Burn a Hole in European Insurance Wallets!

Giggity Giggity: Billions Gone!

Alright alright settle down you crazy kids! Peter Griffin here reporting live from... well my couch. Turns out those California wildfires the ones that looked like someone used a giant magnifying glass on a pile of dry leaves cost European insurance companies a WHOPPING $3.5 billion! That's more than I've spent on beer... in a week. Lois is gonna kill me if she finds out I wrote that. It's like that time I tried to start a YouTube channel reviewing chicken fights and Brian told me it was 'morally reprehensible.' What does he know the guy eats kibble!

Germans and Swiss? Oh My!

So these big shot European companies mainly from Germany the UK Switzerland and France are the ones taking the hit. Two big German companies Munich Re and Hannover Re (sound like characters from a Bond film right?) got smacked with almost $2 billion in losses! The Swiss bless their neutral little hearts Swiss Re and Zurich had to cough up $830 million. It's like that time I tried to convince Cleveland that Switzerland was just a giant chocolate factory. He almost believed me!

London Calling... for Money!

And don't forget those fancy London companies Hiscox Lancashire Insurance Conduit Re and Beazley. They lost nearly $500 million. You know that's enough money to buy like a million gravy boats! Reminds me of that time I tried to pay for our groceries with a sack full of gravy packets. The cashier was not amused. 'Sir this is not legal tender!' she said. I told her 'Well maybe it should be!'

Analysts? More Like Anal ysts! Am I right?

The experts those fancy pants analysts with their charts and graphs thought the losses would only be about a billion dollars. Boy were they wrong! Turns out the wildfires were 'unusual and big.' Well duh! It's like saying 'Peter Griffin is slightly overweight.' No kidding Sherlock! And I was really hoping for a new Bluth banana stand in Quahog.

30 Dead Millions Displaced and My Pockets Feeling Empty

But it's not all about the money folks. Thirty people died in those fires and millions were displaced. Thousands of homes and buildings were turned to ash. Makes you think doesn't it? Maybe I should donate some of my lottery winnings. Nah just kidding! I need that money for beer and a new Mr. Belvedere box set. Priorities people!

So What Does This All Mean?

Basically these European companies are on the hook for a big chunk of the losses. They offer insurance to the companies that deal directly with people in California. And get this: the wildfires were four times more devastating than the ones in 2018. You know maybe this is a sign that I should finally invest in that underground bunker I've always dreamed of. Stocked with beer of course. And maybe a Meg proof room. Giggity!