Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! Oil Prices Go BOOM Thanks to Interdimensional... I Mean, Middle Eastern Mayhem!

Gas Prices: Prepare Your Butthole!

Alright Morty listen up. Some *burp* uh 'diplomatic tensions' between Israel and Iran have escalated faster than Summer's social media clout. Apparently someone decided it was a *good* idea to start poking at natural gas facilities and oil depots. The result? Oil futures jumped more than 3%. That's like three entire Szechuan sauces MORE expensive! U.S. crude oil rose to $75.67 per barrel and Brent's hanging around $77.90. Things are about to get schwifty Morty!

Boom! Goes the Gas Field

So what happened? Apparently Israel used some 'unmanned aerial vehicles' – I call 'em drones Morty because I'm not a corporate shill – to hit the South Pars gas field. This South Pars Morty is one of the *largest* natural gas fields in the world. It's like hitting a galactic sized pinata... except instead of candy you get economic instability. Initial reports say two facilities took a hit. Classic.

Oil Depot? More Like Oil Oh CRAP!

But wait there's more Morty! Israel didn't just stop at gas fields. Oh no they had to go and hit a major oil depot near Tehran. Meanwhile Iran returned the favor by damaging a major oil refinery in Haifa. It's like watching two toddlers with nukes throwing spaghetti at each other. Except the spaghetti is oil and the nukes are… well you get it Morty.

Deja Vu All Over Again Morty

Oil prices had already closed more than 7% higher *before* this latest round of… let's call it 'aggressive negotiations.' That's the biggest single day jump since Russia decided to get all territorial with Ukraine back in March 2022. US crude oil is up 13% this last week alone! History repeats itself Morty but this time instead of empires crumbling it's your wallet that's taking the hit.

War? What is it Good For? Absolutely Inflating Gas Prices!

This whole shebang has been going on for three days now and neither side looks like they're backing down. It's like watching Jerry try to parallel park – endless frustrating and ultimately pointless. They're just exchanging missile fire like it's some twisted version of Christmas. 'Oh you get a missile! And you get a missile! EVERYBODY GETS A MISSILE!'

Strait of Hormuz: The Ultimate Economic Chokepoint

And the *piece de resistance* Morty: Iran is considering shutting down the Strait of Hormuz. This Morty is a big deal. It's like cutting off the internet's main cable. It would cripple global oil supplies. If that happens kiss your affordable gas goodbye. Time to invest in a portal gun Morty. We're going dimension hopping for cheap fuel.