Hail to the King, Baby! Oil Prices Explode After Israel Smacks Iran!

Come Get Some: Israel Kicks Ass!

Alright ladies and gentlemen Duke Nukem here reporting live from the front lines of… well my couch but I'm watching the news and it's more explosive than a freakin' Octabrain convention! Seems like Israel just gave Iran a swift kick in the nads with a 'targeted military operation.' Word is they hit Iran's nuclear and ballistic missile program harder than I hit on a pair of twins after a long day of alien slaying. And you know what? It was time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and Israel is all out of bubblegum.

Groovy! Oil Prices Go BOOM!

But here's the kicker: Oil prices jumped faster than I can reload my shotgun. We're talking a 13% spike folks! That's more volatile than a stripper with a grenade launcher. All this hullabaloo in the Middle East has got everyone worried about oil supplies. Brent futures are soaring and the U.S. West Texas Intermediate is following suit. Looks like someone's gonna be paying extra at the pump and it ain't gonna be me. I got a lifetime supply of gas from all those alien bastards I fragged.

Damn I'm Good! IAEA Gives the All Clear (For Now)

The International Atomic Energy Agency chimed in saying no radiation leaks were detected at the Natanz site. Phew! Looks like the apocalypse is on hold... for now. But let's be real this ain't over. Israel's Prime Minister Netanyahu is all like 'This operation will continue until the threat is gone.' Sounds like a threat to me! Time to find some chicks and kick some ass!

Shake It Baby! US Denies Involvement!

Uncle Sam is playing innocent in all this with Secretary of State Marco Rubio claiming Israel went rogue without U.S. support. He's warning Iran not to mess with American interests. 'We are not involved,' he says. Yeah right. Tell that to the Marines! Meanwhile Israel's Defense Minister declared a state of emergency anticipating a missile and drone attack. Talk about a party waiting to happen.

Nobody Messes With Me! Supply Disruption Threat Looms

The real worry? Supply disruptions. Iran's pumping out over 3 million barrels a day and if they get froggy and decide to retaliate we could be looking at a major oil crisis. Some expert Andy Lipow says Iran might attack Israeli or American targets. Another expert Ellen Wald said 'I don't think we're looking at anything as severe as when Russia invaded Ukraine.' Well lets see if that is really true.

Rest In Pieces: Potential Strait of Hormuz Shutdown?

And get this: there's talk about Iran potentially leveraging the Strait of Hormuz a vital chokepoint for oil tankers. Shut that sucker down and the world's oil supply gets squeezed harder than a… well you get the picture. But Wald warns that China Iran's biggest customer won't be too happy if the oil flow gets disrupted. Looks like someone's about to get a stern talking to. Either way time to load up on ammo and wait for the fireworks! Duke Nukem out!