Say Hello To My Little Profits! NatWest's Bank Account Explodes!

First You Get the Sugar Then You Get the Power!

Alright listen up you punks. Tony Montana's here to tell you about this NatWest see? These Limeys they're makin' money moves. Thirty six percent profit jump? That's like findin' a mountain of uncut Columbian in your backyard! They sayin' it's 'cause of better margins and loan balances but I know the real deal. It's 'cause they're workin' hard... or hardly workin' who knows? Either way they're stackin' the cash while the rest of you are eatin' dirt.

State's Out Tony's In... Maybe!

The government they steppin' back. Like when Manny got too close to my sister I had to step in. Now they down to less than two percent of the whole pie! That's right they be gone soon like a bad batch of blow. This Thwaite fella the big boss he's talkin' 'bout growth. I like that. Growth is good. Growth is what made me who I am. Maybe I should buy a piece of this action eh? 'The World Is Yours!' right? But I need to check under the hood. See if there is any funny business like Sosa was doing.

Tariffs? What Tariffs? NatWest Playing It Cool

This Trump fella and his tariffs these people are more scared than a cockroach when the lights come on. But not NatWest they sayin' they chillin'. Domestic focus they call it. Stickin' to what they know. Smart move I tell you. Don't go chasin' waterfalls stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to ha! Less headaches more profits. And that's what I'm talkin' about. I need to call Mel Bernstein my accountant to check this deal.

Default? What Default?

They're sayin' the defaults are stable. Like my temper huh? That's a joke! Anyways They booked a net impairment charge of 189 million pounds so that aint small change. But I know how these things work. Some people are gonna try to stiff you but you gotta let them know who's boss. I used to have some issues but i sorted out quick

Show Me The Money!

Eighteen point five percent return on tangible equity? That's a number I can get behind. That's like when you get a return on your investment that's worth killing someone for. I mean that's good! They're makin' the green and that's all that matters. Now the only question is how can Tony Montana get a piece of this sweet action? Time to start thinkin' like a banker... a Cuban banker!

An Inflection Point? More Like an Opportunity Point!

This Chairman guy he's talkin' 'bout an 'inflection point'. Sounds fancy right? All I hear is opportunity! An opportunity for Tony Montana to make some serious dough. They sayin' they gonna focus on growth. Well so am I! And I always get what's coming to me. 'Cause I'm Tony Montana! And this is my world now!