SAP Got Richer Than Me! What Now?

First You Get Money Then You Get Respect Then...

Listen up you punks! Tony Montana's here to tell you about some kraut company named SAP. These guys they're makin' more green than I ever saw in one place back in Miami. Fifty eight percent jump in operating profit they say? Constant currency? What the… This ain't about pesos and deals gone bad this is serious dough. They hit 2.5 billion euros! That's like what enough to buy half of Little Havana? Maybe I shoulda listened to Manny and invested in this cloud crap instead of you know… other stuff. But I always tell myself what good is a house if you… you can't be happy in it?

Say Hello to My Little Profit Margin!

So this SAP they got these analysts right? Fancy guys in suits probably never seen a real kilo. They were expecting around 2.2 billion euros but SAP laughed in their faces and pulled in 2.5! The stock jumped 9.3%! That’s a lot of damn points! Makes me wanna buy a machine gun and start celebrating. But instead of uh celebrating I guess they're just going to give the money to the board members. Always the damn board members. Who are these guys anyway?

Europe's Most Valuable? What's the Deal?

Turns out SAP is bigger than Novo Nordisk whatever the hell that is. Now they're the biggest in Europe! Revenue's up 11% to 9 billion euros and their 'cloud backlog' is up 29%. Cloud backlog? Sounds like a bunch of hot air to me. But hey numbers don’t lie right? Still I bet they don't know how to handle a briefcase full of cash like yours truly. These fancy big shots don't know what real work is!

Earnings Per Share: More Like Earnings Per Scarface Am I Right?

Earnings per share jumped 79% to 1.44 euros. All I know is that's more than I made sellin' newspapers back in Cuba I'll tell you that much. So Christian Klein the CEO of SAP is struttin' around saying their "success formula is working." Probably means he knows how to cook the books better than anyone else. But hey who am I to judge? Everyone lies right? And this so called business model is resilient? I bet you the guy never got tested like Tony Montana.

AI Powered Portfolio? Sounds Like Science Fiction!

This Klein character also says their 'AI powered portfolio' is helping companies deal with supply chain problems in 130 countries. AI? Supply chains? Sounds like some science fiction crap. But I guess if it makes them money who am I to complain? Maybe I should get myself an AI powered gun. Or maybe AI powered coke. Nah scratch that. That's just plain crazy.

Breaking News? More Like Heartbreaking for Tony Montana!

This is breaking news they say? Breaking news for me is when I run out of Cristal. But alright alright I get it. SAP's makin' a killing. Maybe I shoulda gone legit. Nah who am I kidding? Too boring. The world is yours... if you can take it... and these SAP guys are taking it one cloud server at a time. I’m out.