CrowdStrike's Stock Takes a Dive! Looks Like Someone Didn't Hail to the King, Baby!

Hail to the King Baby? More Like Fail to Impress!

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up! Seems like CrowdStrike those cybersecurity guys are having a bit of a 'come get some' moment but not in a good way. Their stock price took a nosedive faster than I can say 'groovy' after they released some revenue forecasts that were weaker than my pickup lines at a convent. Apparently they're expecting between $1.14 billion and $1.15 billion this quarter and Wall Street's all like 'Hmm I'm all outta gum,' expecting $1.16 billion. Talk about a buzzkill!

Outage? More Like a Blackout!

And get this they're still whining about that outage from last July. Yeah the one that grounded flights and screwed up hospital schedules. They're claiming it's still biting them in the ass. Well boo hoo. Everyone has bad days. I once had to fight off an alien invasion with a hangover. Now that's what I call a 'rough day at the office!' To try and fix the mess they ended some incentive program but now their CFO is singing the blues of a $11 million revenue drop because of it. Sounds like they need a new strategy or maybe just a shotgun.

The Feds are Coming! Run for the Hills! ... Or Just Get a Lawyer.

Hold on to your boomsticks boys and girls! The U.S. Justice Department and the SEC are sticking their noses in CrowdStrike's business. They want some answers on how they're counting their money and dealing with those pesky outages. Looks like somebody might be saying 'I'm gonna need a vacation after this.' But I wonder if I can join the party it might get groovy!

Wall Street's Got a Bad Case of the Mondays

Some fancy pants analyst over at Evercore ISI this guy Peter Levine downgraded their stock. He's saying the company is overvalued and that there are too many unanswered questions that are frustrating the investors. 'It's the combination of a full valuation and a theme of one time events that keep coming up that makes it difficult for us to underwrite meaningful upside at these levels,' Levine said. Talk about a party pooper! Well time to kick ass and chew bubblegum to turn the stocks around but bubble gum is not in the equation.

A Glimmer of Hope? Or Just a Mirage in the Desert?

It's not all doom and gloom though. They did beat earnings expectations and posted in line revenue for the last quarter. Plus they're talking about buying back $1 billion worth of their own shares. Maybe they're not totally screwed after all. They had adjusted earnings per share of 73 cents where expectations were at 65 cents. Now they just need to find out what went wrong and fix it... Fast.

Time to Reload and Get Back in the Game!

Alright CrowdStrike listen up! You've got a mess on your hands. But hey every hero has their rough patches. So dust yourselves off fix your mistakes and get back out there! And remember what ol' Duke always says: 'Come get some!' Now if you'll excuse me I've got some aliens to vaporize and babes to rescue and I am all outta gum.