She-Hulk SMASHES the Patriarchy in Women's Soccer! Can USA Dominate Again?!

Hulk Understands: Women's Soccer Need Big Change!

Hulk read article. Tiny Banner man write about lady coach Emma Hayes. She strong! Like She Hulk! Hayes smash old ways! Make women's soccer GREAT again! Hulk like that! She win Olympic gold! HA! Hulk win too! Lots of smashing! But this about Hayes now. She new boss. She say 'Hulk things need fixin'!' Hulk say 'Hulk KNOW!' Old team get old. New teams get stronger. Hayes make USA number ONE again!

Hayes Smash! USA Wins! Like Hulk!

Hayes win gold medal! Hulk also win! ...sometimes. This Hayes show! She say she make 'safe bubble' for players. Hulk no need safe bubble! Hulk SMASH! But Hulk see point. Players need feel good to play good. Smart lady! Soon USA play Brazil again. Hulk think USA smash them! Like Hulk smash Loki!

No More 'Male Lens'! Hulk Wear His Own Glasses!

Hayes talk about 'male lens.' Hulk not know what that mean! But Hulk think she say men always think they know best. Hulk understand! Sometimes Stark think he know best! Hayes say she make training JUST for women. Good! Women different. Hulk know! She Hulk STRONG! But she also smart. Hayes use data. Data from rings! Data from computers! Hayes say 'Hulk data show women shoot good from far away!' Hulk say 'Hulk see!' More goals good!

Where All The Girl Soccer Players Go?!

Hayes worry about girls stop playing soccer. Hulk understand. When Hulk young puny Banner bullies pick on him! Make him not want to play! Hayes say girls need good programs. Need people understand them. Hayes say 'Hulk happy girls play good! Then they grow up and be strong bosses!' Hulk say 'Hulk like strong bosses!'

Hulk Leave Things Better! Hayes Too!

Hayes want leave soccer better. Hulk also! Hulk not always smash. Sometimes Hulk help. Hulk fix buildings after smashing. Hulk plant flowers! Okay not really. But Hulk WANT to leave things better. Hayes smart. She know winning good. But helping future soccer players MORE good. Hulk agree!

Hulk Says: Hayes Good. Soccer Good. SMASH!

So Hulk think Hayes do good job. She make USA soccer strong again. She help girls play. She use science! She win gold! Hulk like her! Hulk think YOU like her too! Now go watch soccer! Or Hulk SMASH!