Mortgage Rates Screwed! Is China About to Ruin Your Dream Home?!

Wubba Lubba Dub Dub We're All Screwed!

Alright Morty listen up. Looks like those pencil pushing suits in Washington have really done it this time. Mortgage rates are soaring higher than my spaceship after a night out at the Blips and Chitz. Apparently investors are dumping U.S. Treasury bonds like they're yesterday's Szechuan sauce. And guess what? It's gonna affect your pathetic little desire to own a home. News flash Morty nobody cares about your dreams!

China's About to Get Schwifty!

Now here's the kicker Morty. Word on the street or rather from some egghead named Guy Cecala at Inside Mortgage Finance is that China might just unload their mortgage backed securities (MBS) as payback for Trump's dumb tariff plan. 'Is that a threat? Sure it is,' he said trying to sound smart. If they do it's like sticking a Meeseeks box full of economic doom in the housing market.

1.32 Trillion Reasons to Panic Morty!

Get this Morty: foreign countries hold $1.32 trillion worth of U.S. MBS! That's like 15% of the whole damn thing! China Japan Taiwan Canada... They're all sitting on potential economic weapons. China's already started selling off some and Japan's thinking about joining the party. If they all go nuts mortgage rates will go up faster than you can say 'Get Schwifty!'

Morty They're Raising the Stakes!

Some other nerd Eric Hagen from BTIG is saying that investors are worried that this whole thing could widen mortgage spreads. I think they're gonna be more than widened Morty. More like completely obliterated. It's like they're building a real life Purge Planet except instead of people it's your savings.

The Spring Housing Market? More Like the Spring Doom Market!

Morty the spring housing market is already in the toilet thanks to inflated prices and consumer confidence lower than your IQ. Add in the recent stock market crash and people selling their stocks for down payments and you've got a recipe for disaster. Basically the whole thing is a house of cards waiting for a stiff breeze.

The Fed's Playing Games Too!

And just when you thought it couldn't get worse the Federal Reserve is letting its own MBS roll off its portfolio. They were buying MBS in the pandemic to keep rates low Morty like they were trying to give you some false hope but now they're tightening the screws! It's like the whole universe is conspiring against your pathetic little dream of owning a split level in suburbia! Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!