Holy Crap Lois! Weight Loss Drugs are Going Online! (And Maybe I Can Finally Fit Into My Pants!)

Giggity Giggity Telehealth Comes to the Rescue!

Alright alright alright! So I heard the bigwigs at Novo Nordisk that company that makes Wegovy – you know the stuff that's supposed to magically make you skinny like those swimsuit models – are now selling it online through places like Hims & Hers and Ro. Apparently it's because the fake stuff from those dodgy pharmacies got shut down. They're trying to 'catch people' as they come off that other stuff or so they say. I'm thinking maybe I can finally ditch these XXXL pants!

The Price is Right (Or At Least...Lower ish?)

Now here's the kicker: Novo Nordisk is offering Wegovy for $499 a month if you pay in cash. Cash! Like I have that kind of dough just lying around. But hey it's supposedly half the usual price if you don't have insurance. Though knowing my luck Joe Swanson's insurance plan will cover it and I'll still be stuck paying full price. At least I'll finally be able to beat Cleveland at the buffet. Giggity!

Hims & Hers: Where the Price Tag Includes Extra Stuff

So Hims & Hers they're all about those 'added services.' They're offering Wegovy for $599 a month. That's more than the other offer but it includes all sorts of fancy stuff like '24/7 care' and 'nutritional guidance.' Sounds suspiciously like Meg trying to give me advice on eating healthy. No thanks I'll stick to the Clam.

Ro: The Bargain Bin of Weight Loss?

Then there's Ro. They're undercutting everyone with Wegovy for $499 a month. They also have '24/7 messaging' and 'one on one coaching.' If they start telling me to jog in place like that time I thought I was having a heart attack I'm out. Herbert would have a field day.

But What About The Knock Offs?

Here's where things get a little shady kind of like Mort Goldman selling 'vintage' clothes that smell suspiciously of mothballs. Turns out Hims & Hers was slinging their own version of the stuff in Wegovy and Ozempic. Now it has 'largely had to stop offering'. So what now? What now? What now?

The Feds Are Watching (Like When Lois Catches Me Eating Late Night Pizza)

So it turns out the FDA has rules about these compounded drugs. They're basically saying 'knock it off' to the big pharmacies making knock off versions. But the smaller ones can still make it if you really really need it. Basically it's a whole lot of 'shut up Meg' aimed at the companies and a bit of a shrug towards people like me who just want to lose a few pounds. Maybe I should just stick to my patented 'chubby guy who falls down a lot' exercise plan.