Freakin' Sweet Job Cuts!
Alright folks Peter Griffin here your friendly neighborhood newsman... kinda. So I heard this crazy story about how RFK Jr. who I thought was just some dude yelling about vaccines is actually messing with our healthcare! Apparently he's cutting jobs at CMS which is like the place that makes sure old people don't get turned into Soylent Green. And you know what that means... less people to pay for my knee replacement from falling down all those stairs!
Oh No! Not the Minority Health Office!
So they're chopping up the Office of Minority Health. I don't know what that is but if it helps black people that's the opposite of what Horace Derwent would want. Looks like some folks are saying it's like a Trump thing trying to get rid of all that DEI stuff. Next thing you know they'll be taking away my right to wear pajamas in public! It's like that time I tried to join the KKK! Whoops did I say that out loud?
Dr. Oz?! Seriously?!
And get this Lois! Dr. Oz that snake oil salesman from TV is gonna be running CMS now! I’m pretty sure the guy doesn’t know the difference between a scalpel and a spatula! This is worse than that time I operated on Quagmire's pet cat! Giggity! What do we have to look forward to next? Maybe someone is going to teach Meg how to dance?
Ten Thousand Jobs Gone?!
They're saying like 10,000 people have already quit because of Trump and now RFK Jr. is firing even more! That's like all the people who work at the Pawtucket Brewery... twice! Who's gonna brew my beer now?! This is almost as bad as the time I had to get a job at the cereal factory! At least they still have those guys who do the computers. You know so the internet doesn't break and I can still watch those funny cat videos.
Measles Bird Flu and Now This?!
As if measles and bird flu weren’t enough now we’re dealing with this crap! Is this the end times? Should I start building an ark? Maybe I should just move to Canada and pretend to be Canadian! Eh?
What's Next?!
So what's the takeaway? Basically we're screwed. I mean not 'screwed' like that time I accidentally joined a nudist colony but still pretty screwed. Better stock up on beer and chicken wings because if things keep going this way we might not have healthcare but at least we'll have a good time while we die! *nervous laugh*
CMS Robert F Kennedy Jr healthcare cuts Medicare Medicaid health disparities Dr Oz Trump administration government layoffs minority health office
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donkeypunch
Maybe we should just build a giant robot to solve all our problems!
akuseorangvampire
I blame Canada!
psych0s0c1al
This is almost as bad as when they cancelled Firefly!
abs0287
Someone get Lois on the phone, she'll know what to do!
boscobear73
This is why I only trust Cleveland Brown for medical advice!
jeriko2075
I'm gonna go hide in the Drunken Clam until this all blows over!