Holy Crap Lois! Ford is Selling Trucks Like Hotcakes!

Giggity Giggity! Ford's Got the Goods

Alright so listen up you bunch of Quahog Quagmire types! Peter Griffin here your favorite news... enthusiast. I just heard that Ford yeah the car company not the president unless... is there a Ford president? Anyway Ford sold a WHOPPING 14.2% more cars this quarter than last year! That's like almost as much as the amount of times I've embarrassed myself in front of Mayor West. And get this the whole industry only went up like 1.4%. Ford's kicking ass! Someone get them a beer... or maybe a whole brewery. It’s what they deserve!

F Series Trucks: Bigger Than My Beer Gut

Apparently a lot of these sales are because of the F Series trucks. Folks are buying them like they're free beer at The Drunken Clam! They had their best quarter since 2019 which let me tell you feels like a lifetime ago. I mean remember 2019? I could still fit into my tighty whities without strategically positioning myself. Those trucks are big tough and probably able to haul all the stolen street signs Cleveland keeps in his basement. Speaking of Cleveland where's he been anyway?

Electrified? More Like Slightly Jolted!

Now they're also pushing these "electrified" vehicles which according to the nerds includes hybrids and EVs. Sales are up but here's the kicker: the *pure* EVs are DOWN 31.4%! Hybrids are up though. So basically people are like "Yeah I wanna save the planet but not *that* much." It's like me trying to eat healthy. I'll order a diet Coke with my triple bacon cheeseburger. Balance people balance! It is kind of like the time I tried to be a superhero though...that didn't end well. At least the cars are more safe I guess.

Trump Tariffs: A Trade War Far Far Away...

Some smarty pants are saying that Trump's tariffs might have messed things up a bit like that time I tried to fix the TV and accidentally set the house on fire. Apparently people bought cars early to avoid the higher prices but now that demand is fading faster than my memory after a bottle of Pawtucket Patriot Ale. I hope these tariffs are not as bad as the time I had to fight the giant chicken again.

GM and the South Koreans Want a Piece of the Pie!

General Motors (GM) is also doing pretty well with a 7.3% sales increase. And those South Koreans Kia and Hyundai are also having a field day! They're like Stewie trying to take over the world only with more sensible vehicles and less diabolical plotting. It's a dog eat dog world out there folks or as I like to say a Griffin eat Griffin world!

Can I Afford a Solid Gold Toilet Now?

So what does all this mean? Well probably nothing for me personally. I'm still gonna be driving my beat up old jalopy dodging Meg's attempts at conversation. But hey maybe if Ford keeps selling trucks like this I can finally afford that solid gold toilet I've always dreamed of! Giggity! And that's the news from Quahog folks! I'm Peter Griffin signing off to go watch some TV and then eat a bunch of snacks