Giggity! Best Buy's Gone Bust (Kind Of) Thanks to Those Darn Tariffs!

Holy Crap What's a Tariff?

Alright folks Peter Griffin here your friendly neighborhood newsman (sort of). So Best Buy the place where I once tried to return a toaster I 'borrowed' from Mort Goldman is having a bit of a boo boo. Seems these things called 'tariffs' are messing with their money making mojo. CFO Matt Bilunas sounds like a fancy cheese basically said they're expecting less cash because of these tariffs and they are trying to adapt like I try to adapt to Lois's new diet ideas. You remember that time she tried to feed us all kale smoothies? Gah! Worse than that time I fought a giant chicken!

Trump's Trade Shenanigans!

Apparently these tariffs are thanks to President Trump's ever changing trade policies. First quarter earnings reports have highlighted just how disruptive Trump's policies have been. It’s like when I try to 'help' around the house – always a disaster! Other companies are also feeling the pinch. Even E.l.f. Beauty is all like 'We have no freakin' clue what's gonna happen!' So thanks Trump! Now I can't afford that new 80 inch TV to watch 'Knight Rider' reruns!

Best Buy's Secret Plan: Operation Make More Money!

But don't worry Best Buy has a plan! CEO Corie Barry sounds like a character from Star Wars says they're gonna improve the customer experience. Like maybe they'll finally teach their employees the difference between a PlayStation and an Xbox! They're also gonna launch a third party marketplace and advertising businesses. It's kind of like when I tried to sell Meg's old clothes at a yard sale – nobody wanted them but at least I got a free hot dog! They are also trying to save money. Just like Lois when she finds a coupon.

The Numbers Don't Lie (Even When They're Confusing)

Here are some numbers. Earnings per share were $1.15 which is better than expected. However Revenue was $8.77 billion which is lower than the $8.81 billion they wanted. Basically they made less money than they thought they would. It's like when I try to count my lottery winnings before the numbers are drawn – always a disappointment! The numbers make more sense to me than that time I got trapped in an elevator with the Swedish Chef.

Less TVs More Phones...Huh?

People are buying fewer home theaters appliances and drones which is bad for Best Buy's wallet. But they're buying more computers mobile phones and tablets which is good. So basically people are trading in their 'Netflix and chill' lifestyle for 'scrolling through TikTok while hiding in the bathroom.' Got it. It all makes sense. As much sense as Brian trying to explain quantum physics after too many martinis.

Blame China (and Mexico a Little)

A lot of Best Buy's stuff comes from China and Mexico. Tariffs on Chinese goods are making everything more expensive. Best Buy might have to raise prices. Oh the horror! This is worse than the time I accidentally bought a lifetime supply of mayonnaise! So the next time you're shopping for a new gadget just remember: you're paying for Trump's trade war. Giggity!