Hemi's Back, Baby! Ram Admits Their Mistake and I'm Here For It!

They Actually Said It: 'Ram Screwed Up'

Alright alright alright! Asmongold here and let me tell you I just choked on my Dr. Pepper when I read this headline. Stellantis the big brains behind Ram trucks straight up admitted they screwed the pooch! They binned the 5.7 liter Hemi V 8 last year pushing for those tree hugging electric vehicles and 'efficient' engines. Turns out the people weren't buying it. And by 'the people,' I mean the REAL Americans the ones who need a truck that can haul tow and sound like FREEDOM. Ram CEO Tim Kuniskis who apparently un retired just to fix this mess dropped the mic with this quote: "Everyone makes mistakes but how you handle them defines you. Ram screwed up when we dropped the Hemi — we own it and we fixed it." You hear that? THEY OWN IT! That's what I'm talking about!

EVs? More Like E Vaporated Sales!

Look I'm not saying EVs are the devil but let's be real. The hype train derailed. EV adoption is slower than my hairline receding. And with the Trump administration potentially rolling back Biden's green initiatives the pressure to go full electric is easing up. This whole situation reminds me of the time I tried to play a Druid in WoW. Thought I could be all nature y and peaceful. Ended up rage quitting and going back to my Warrior. Some things just aren't meant to be. Same goes for forcing EVs down our throats apparently.

The Hemi Cometh: A Glorious Return

So what's the deal? The Hemi is back as a $1,200 option on most Ram 1500 models. That's right for a measly grand and a couple hundred you can have a REAL ENGINE under the hood. The 5.7 liter Hemi V 8 cranks out 395 horsepower and 410 foot pounds of torque. Okay the Hurricane engine they tried to push is technically more powerful but numbers ain't everything. It's about the FEEL the SOUND the sheer AMERICAN MUSCLE! It's the equivalent of comparing a vegan burger to a juicy greasy double patty cheeseburger. No contest!

Symbol of Protest: Ram's Middle Finger to Wokeness

Here's where it gets hilarious. They're not putting "HEMI" on the side of the truck. Instead they created a new badge: a ram's head coming out of a Hemi engine calling it the "Symbol of Protest." A SYMBOL. OF. PROTEST! This is basically Ram flipping the bird to the eco friendly crowd. It's like Blizzard adding a 'pay to win' feature and calling it a 'Surprise Mechanic' to mock the loot box controversies. This is great i'm here for it.

Freedom of Choice: 'Cause Murica!

Kuniskis gets it. "They hate the fact that we took away the freedom of choice," he said. "We as Americans probably even more so truck buyers hate the fact that we said 'This is the choice you get.'" Preach brother! This ain't a dictatorship! We want options! We want to choose between a gas guzzling V 8 and... well actually nobody wants the electric truck. But the POINT is give us the CHOICE! That's what America is all about. It is what it is.

The Future? Who Cares! Hemi Now!

Alright Ram says they're still planning on electric and hybrid trucks eventually. Yeah yeah whatever. I'll believe it when I see it. For now I'm just happy the Hemi is back. It's a win for freedom a win for common sense and a win for anyone who likes their truck to sound like a freaking thunderstorm. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go look at Ram 1500s online. Bye nerds!