Holy Crap Lois! The Hemi's Back! Ram Admits They Screwed Up Big Time!

Freakin' Sweet! Hemi's Back in Town!

Alright alright alright! Peter Griffin here your resident expert on all things awesome and occasionally idiotic! And folks I gotta tell ya I nearly choked on my Pawtucket Patriot beer when I heard the news. Stellantis those fancy pants fellas who make the Ram trucks are bringing back the Hemi! That's right the V 8 Hemi is making a comeback like that time I tried to fake my own death to get out of yard work. Remember that Brian? Good times!

Uh Oh! They Messed Up!

So get this apparently some fella named Tim Kuniskis who sounds like a character from a poorly written sci fi movie said that axing the Hemi in the first place was a 'mistake.' A MISTAKE?! That's like saying it was a 'mistake' to let me drive the Weinermobile! It's a colossal screw up of epic proportions! But hey at least they admitted it. Progress!

Trump Card!

And get this Lois! Apparently all that electric car stuff wasn't going as planned. I mean who wants a truck that hums when you can have one that ROARS like a freakin' dinosaur?! Thank goodness Trump is undoing all the hippy dippy stuff! Its almost as exciting as watching the Drunken Clam get a fresh shipment of beer!

25 Product Announcements?! Giggity!

So this Kuniskis fella has a plan. A plan so big so bold it involves 25 product announcements in 18 months! That's like a freakin' buffet of car news! It's gonna be like Christmas every other week! I'm excited! I'm more excited than when I discovered that time travel could get me to the front of the buffet line! Giggity!

Hemi Power: It's the Right Thing to Do!

The Hemi's gonna be an option see? And who wouldn't want it? I mean it's got 395 horsepower! That's more horsepower than I have brain cells after a night at the Drunken Clam. Plus they're even making a new logo! It's a ram's head coming out of a Hemi engine! They're calling it their 'Symbol of Protest.' It’s a middle finger to people pushing electric cars on us. Now that's American!

Electric Trucks? Eh Maybe Later...

Look they still gonna do electric trucks but not yet Lois not yet. It feels like I am being forced into eating my vegetables before I eat my cheesecake! It's gonna take time to get there but for now I'll stick with my Hemi. It might not be good for the planet but it's good for my soul! So here is to Ram for doing the right thing and brining the Hemi back. Now if you excuse me I have a Drunken Clam to get to and a very specific bar stool that needs to be warmed up.