Are Trump's Tariffs Going to Cost You a Fortune!?

Excellent Another Fine Mess!

Bah! Another day another calamity brought upon us by that orange buffoon in the White House. Trump's tariffs on imported cars you say? It's all part of his grand scheme to… well I haven't the foggiest. Probably something to do with making America great again whatever that means. Sounds dreadfully expensive to me. But mark my words Smithers this is nothing but economic poppycock. He's as mad as a hatter I tell you!

Four Thousand Dollars You Say?

They say prices could jump by four to fifteen thousand dollars per vehicle? Good heavens! That's almost as much as a decent oil painting... or a bribe for a regulatory hearing. Although a few thousand dollars is pocket change to me but for the common man it's a significant sum. I always say a fool and his money are soon parted but it seems the fool is now parted from even more money thanks to these tariffs. Perhaps I should invest in a new car dealership. Smithers remind me to look into that. "Release the hounds!" I say but not on the customers... just on the competitors!

Midnight Madness! April 3rd?!

April 3rd you say? The day the tariffs kick in? Oh this is just rich! As if the commoners needed another reason to be miserable. They'll be lining up at the dealerships like flies to honey all in a desperate attempt to avoid these egregious taxes. Excellent! Pure supply and demand I say. Reminds me of the time I cornered the sugar market. Mwahahaha! Smithers start drawing up plans for Burns' Affordable Automobiles. We'll sell them… well perhaps not affordably but we'll certainly profit!

Tesla's Triumph or So They Say

Ah yes Tesla. That electric contraption driven by that Elon Musk fellow a strange chap indeed. They say they're "insulated" from the tariffs because they produce locally? Poppycock! No one is immune to the long arm of the government especially not when I have a say. But yes I'm happy to see them doing well since I'm sure to make them pay their fair share when the time comes. Perhaps I'll buy a Tesla crush it with a compactor and sell the metal for scrap. Always looking to turn a penny that's me!

The Cost of Doing Business (Badly)

So even Tesla admits they'll be affected by the cost of imported parts? Of course! No one escapes the long arm of the tariff man! Though I do appreciate Musk's contribution to DOGE. Cutting down on government? Now that's a cause I can get behind... provided it doesn't affect my bottom line. Smithers make a note: investigate ways to exploit these tariffs. I want to be swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck only with less… duck and more… well more money!

To the Future!

In conclusion these tariffs are a disaster for the common man but a potential goldmine for C. Montgomery Burns! I'll be watching closely ready to pounce on any opportunity to line my pockets further. As I always say "Money never sleeps," and neither does C. Montgomery Burns when there's a chance to exploit the misfortunes of others! Now Smithers where's my brandy? And find me that darn bear! I want to see if I can sell it for profit!