Geralt of Rivia Reports: Robotaxis Rising! Are We Trading Roach for a Ride?

Another Monster in the Desert?

Heard about this new infestation in the desert... not drowners this time but metal beasts called robotaxis. Seems Alphabet and Magna are breeding them at a facility in Mesa Arizona. They call it the 'Waymo Driver Integration Plant,' fancy name for a glorified stable if you ask me. Heard they're planning to churn out thousands of these contraptions. More than 2,000 Jaguar I PACE 'robotaxis,' they say. I've seen less menacing griffins.

Roach's Retirement Plan?

These metal nags will be joining Waymo's existing herd of about 1,500 robotaxis. Seems they want to replace honest horses like Roach with these automatons. 'Tens of thousands per year,' they boast. Well I say good luck replacing Roach's loyalty with a bucket of bolts. Though I'll admit Roach does have a habit of stopping mid charge when she sees a pretty dandelion...

Zeekr and Destroy?

They’re also planning to build some fancy 'Geely Zeekr RT robotaxis' with '6th generation Waymo Driver' tech. Sounds like something a sorceress cooked up not a vehicle. Probably just as temperamental too. Remember Yennefer's portal experiments? I shudder to think what happens when these things malfunction.

Phoenix Rising (of the Machines)

Seems Phoenix is their testing ground. Started offering these 'commercial robotaxi services' back in 2020. Now they're bragging about 250,000 paid driverless rides per week across Austin San Francisco Los Angeles and Phoenix. Next thing you know they'll be trying to take riders from Vizima to Novigrad. I doubt it'll be cheaper than Roach though. And safer? Gods I hope so.

Elon Musk vs. the Alphabet Soup

Of course there's always some rival stirring the pot. This Tesla fellow Elon Musk is apparently throwing shade claiming Waymo's metal beasts cost 'way more money.' He's planning his own robotaxi service in Austin. Sounds like a brewing turf war. Maybe I should invest in some oil futures... or just stick to killing monsters pays better usually.

A Witcher's Verdict?

So robotaxis on the horizon. Will they replace Roach? Unlikely. Will they cause more trouble than they're worth? Possibly. Will I be taking a ride in one anytime soon? Only if I'm paid handsomely... and have a silver sword handy just in case. Remember steel for humans silver for monsters... and maybe a little something extra for malfunctioning automatons.