Holy Crap Lois! Toyota's New Electric Car is Actually...Good?!

From BZ4X to Just 'bZ': Because Numbers Are Hard

Alright so Toyota you know the company that makes cars that are so reliable they're practically boring? Well they had this electric car called the bZ4X. Sounded like a droid from Star Wars after a night at The Drunken Clam am I right? Anyway they're changing the name to just 'bZ.' Apparently 'bZ4X' was too complicated for us simple folk. It's like when Lois tries to explain quantum physics to me – my brain just turns into mashed potatoes. But hey at least they're admitting the old name was a stinker! It's like naming a dog 'Fido the Third Esquire.' Just call him Fido for crying out loud!

Wheelie Bad News: Remembering the Great Tire Debacle

Now I gotta be honest the bZ4X had a bit of a rough start. Remember that recall where the wheels were falling off? It was like that time I tried to build a treehouse with Stewie – utter chaos! Wheels detachin' from a car? That's like Lois burning dinner...unthinkable! But apparently Toyota learned their lesson. Or at least I hope so. I wouldn't want to see Bonnie Swanson driving down the street only to have her tires rolling past her. Ha! Classic!

Giggity! More Power and Range Than Ever Before

But hold the phone folks! This new 'bZ' is actually kinda… impressive? They're talking about a 25% increase in range! That means I could drive to the Clam and back like twenty times before needing a recharge. And get this – up to 50% more horsepower! Holy crap Lois! This thing might actually be faster than Mort Goldman running from a sale at the pharmacy! I bet I could even beat Quagmire in a race. Giggity!

Tesla Charging?! What is this some kinda crossover episode?

And the best part? It's getting a Tesla charging port! That's right the folks who made the car so bad it was basically a compliance car are now playing nice with the big boys. Now I ain't sayin' it's as good as free beer at the Clam but it is a pretty nice deal. No more having to search around for those weird chargers that look like something out of a sci fi movie! Just plug it in and get back to quoting 'Surfin' Bird' baby!

Is This Car Actually...Good?

So what's the verdict? Is this 'bZ' thing actually going to be a decent car? Well it sounds like Toyota's trying to fix all the stuff that made the old one a lemon. More range more power and hopefully wheels that stay attached. It’s like when Peter tries to be a responsible adult! Ha! But only time will tell. I guess we'll have to wait and see if this 'bZ' is a winner or just another embarrassing moment for the company. Either way I'm sure I'll find a way to make fun of it. It's what I do best!

Show Me The Money! (Or at Least The Price)

Alright alright alright! So here is the deal. Toyota is being a little vague about what the car will cost. All they're saying is the old one started at around $37,000. You know like my bar tab at the Clam roughly. I am being told you will be able to find these bad larry's in showrooms starting the second half of this year. I guess we will have to wait and see but me thinks this one might be alright...