Holy Crap Lois! Japan's Packing Heat and Joining the Global Arms Race!

Japan? Selling Weapons? What the Deuce?!

Alright so you're telling me Japan the same country that gave us Hello Kitty and those weird tentacle things is now trying to sell weapons like they're Pokémon cards? This is almost as crazy as that time I thought I could become a professional sumo wrestler...almost. Apparently they're saying it's about 'security concerns' and 'deepening ties' with other countries. Sounds like a load of hooey to me! Giggity giggity goo!

Proactive Contribution to Peace? More Like Proactive Contribution to Boom!

This whole 'proactive contribution to peace' thing sounds like something Stewie would come up with to justify blowing up the house. They say it's about helping allies and making sure everyone plays nice. But let's be real it's probably more about Japan wanting to build a bigger army than the one they got now. Remember when Petercopter was a thing? Yeah those were the days.

Japan's Defense Industry? More Like Defenseless Industry!

So apparently Japan's defense industry was in worse shape than my chances of winning a hot dog eating contest against Kobayashi. They've been buying all their toys from America like fancy F 35 fighter jets. Now they want to make their own weapons to boost the economy. It's like me trying to build my own car after wrecking the Family Car... it's gonna be a disaster!

From Zero to Hero...or Zero to Arms Dealer?

Right now Japan's arms exports are so small they're basically invisible. Like my IQ on a good day. But they're looking at countries like South Korea and China who are raking in the dough selling weapons and they want in on the action. Can they compete? Well I can compete in an eating contest so anything is possible!

Trump Card? More Like Trump Rocket!

Some fancy strategist guy says if Trump gets back in office Japan will have to pay for all its own defense. Which means they gotta start selling weapons to pay the bills. It's like me having to sell my World of Warcraft account to pay for Lois's new shoes. Desperate times call for desperate measures!

So Can Japan Pull This Off? Maybe. Maybe Not. Who Cares?!

Experts are arguing whether Japan can actually become a major arms dealer. Some say they have the skills others say they're too old and have too many rules. But honestly who cares? As long as they don't start selling weapons to those evil monkeys from that one episode I'm happy. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go watch some TV and eat a bucket of chicken. Hehehe... Chicken.