By Order of the Bank of England: Rate Cuts and Fiscal Fumbles!

The Governor's Gambit

Right so Bailey from the Bank of England is saying the interest rates are going down gradually. Like a bloody slow train to Birmingham. He's talking about cutting rates by 25 basis points in August taking us down to 4%. Says he hasn't changed his mind but then he adds 'we'll see' sounds like a politician already. Smart man that Bailey but let's see if his plan works eh? 'Everyone's a bloody comedian' until the economy goes tits up then they're all looking at me.

Inflation's Stubborn Stand

Inflation's still a bloody nuisance. Should be at 2% but it's loitering around 3.4%. Higher than the Eurozone mind you. Bailey's wondering if this 'softening' he's seeing will actually bring inflation down. Softening my arse. More like tap dancing around the problem. 'Whisky's good proofing water. Tells you who's real and who isn't.'

Shrinking Pockets Shrinking Economy

The economy's taken a right hook shrinking in April. Global trade tariffs and tax rises they all landed at once. Finance Minister Reeves is 'disappointed'. Well so am I luv. Says she's made the 'necessary choices' to stabilise things. 'Already broken'. I wonder what Aunt Polly would say about all this fiscal nonsense. Someone get me a cigarette.

Reeves' Risky Maneuvers

Reeves is caught in a bloody bind. Wants growth but she's got 'fiscal rules' – no borrowing for day to day spending. So she can either cut spending borrow anyway (which she says she won't) or raise taxes. Economists reckon she'll raise taxes again. More money from the working man. 'Lies travel faster than the truth'. Same old story.

The Chancellor's Conundrum

Back in March some office for budgets said we'd get 1% growth this year 1.9% in 2026. Reeves admits there's 'more to do'. Well no bloody duh. She's got the weight of the world on her shoulders and a pocketful of problems. She should come to Birmingham get some fresh air and speak to the common man for once then she might know what to do. 'We have all done terrible things'. So has she with these taxes.

Bailey's Balancing Act

Bailey won't comment too much on Reeves' fiscal policy doesn't want to look like he's interfering. But he does say she needs 'flexibility'. Says they talk often. 'Family. Religion. These are the crutches of weak men.' Let’s hope their fiscal framework holds up and doesn't come crashing down. Because if it does there will be hell to pay.