Bloody Inflation's Back: The Bank of England's Playing Games, But I'm Watching

The Numbers Don't Lie But They Can Be Bent

Right so they tell me inflation's up to 3.5%. 'Economists' were expecting 3.3%. Bunch of bloody crystal ball gazers the lot of them. Last few months they were all patting themselves on the back with how inflation was cooling off. February March all looking rosy. Now suddenly we're back in the mire. As I always say: 'Everyone's a whore Grace. We just sell different parts of ourselves.' This inflation it's just another kind of selling isn't it? Selling us short.

Core Blimey!

They're trying to blind us with this 'core inflation' bollocks – excluding all the things people actually need: energy food booze. What's left? Air and bloody sunshine? That went up even higher to 3.8%. Housing transport bloody entertainment. You need all that. Even a Peaky Blinder needs a pint and a fairground ride now and then. It's like they are trying to make us go hungry and get us out of our homes. By order of the peaky blinders that will not stand!

Blame Game and Energy Cap Shenanigans

They're blaming it on energy prices tax rises Easter and even good weather. Good weather! As if a bit of sunshine is enough to bleed the working man dry. It's all connected see? They bleed you dry one way or another. Just like I bleed my enemies. They raise the price you bend the knee. And the Bank of England? They're 'eagerly trying to figure out what to do next.' Eager? They're supposed to *know* what to do. Bunch of amateurs. 'Whiskey's good proofing water. Tells you who's real and who isn't.' These lot are clearly watered down.

The Pound's Jig

The pound went up a bit against the dollar. Good for the fellas with money overseas. Not much use to the lads in Small Heath. The Bank of England expected this 'temporary' rise anyway to 3.7%. They even cut interest rates like they were doing us a favour. 'Gradual and careful,' they say. Like they're defusing a bloody bomb. They should be careful all right. I'm watching them.

Tariffs and Tantrums

They're worried about them Yank tariffs. Scared it'll hurt our 'growth.' Well maybe if we weren't so reliant on everyone else we wouldn't be in this mess. A bit of good news – GDP went up 0.7%. But they say it won't last. Blame it on businesses rushing before the tariffs hit. Always an excuse isn't there? They make fools of us all.

Always Have a Plan And a Bloody Good Accountant

The bottom line? This inflation's a game. They're playing with our lives our money. The only way to win is to be smarter be tougher be one step ahead. And always *always* have a bloody good accountant. 'Intelligence is a very valuable thing innit my friend? And usually it comes far too late.' Don't let it come too late for you. Now if you'll excuse me I've got some business to attend to.