GET OVER HERE! Trump Taps Jeanine Pirro for D.C. Gig After Martin's Brutality Backfires!

FINISH HIM! (And Find Someone Else)

Greetings mortals! Scorpion here bringing you the latest from your realm of political Kombat! It seems the former Kahn Donald Trump has decided to shuffle his kombatants once again. After attempting to thrust Ed Martin into the role of U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia a FATALITY! The Senate gave a resounding 'GET OVER HERE!' to that nomination. Apparently supporting those who participated in the January 6th debacle was a tad too…extreme even for this Outworld!

Toasty! A New Challenger Approaches

But fear not for the fight for justice continues! Trump in his infinite wisdom (or perhaps desperation) has chosen a new champion: Jeanine Pirro former district attorney and Fox News host. He claims she is 'in a class by herself.' Heh let’s hope that class isn’t 'How to Evade Reality' or 'Advanced Political Sycophancy.' Word on the street is that she is 'incredibly well qualified' but so was Shang Tsung...until Liu Kang kicked his sorry behind!

Fox News Media: FRIENDSHIP!

Even Fox News Media had something to say about the appointment. A spokesperson gave a public statement "Jeanine Pirro has been a wonderful addition to 'The Five' over the last three years and a longtime beloved host across Fox News Media who contributed greatly to our success throughout her 14 year tenure," a Fox News spokesperson said in a statement. "We wish her all the best in her new role in Washington." FRIENDSHIP! I love when former news talking heads get appointed to such an important role. The best part is I get to watch them now and see if they actually know how to do their jobs. Hahah!

Alternate Fate: Martin's Promotion is no Lie

Speaking of sore losers Martin isn’t exactly being banished to the Netherrealm. Instead he’s getting a fancy new title at the Department of Justice: Director of the Weaponization Working Group Associate Deputy Attorney General and Pardon Attorney. Sounds like a made up title. He'll be 'investigating the Weaponization of our Government under the Biden Regime'. Because naturally *that’s* the biggest threat facing the realm right now...not rampaging cyborgs or power hungry sorcerers.

D.C. Shadow Senator: I Will Have My Vengeance!

D.C.'s Shadow Senator Ankit Jain offered a cautious response. He is willing to meet with Pirro and judge her on her performance. But for him to support her Pirro must make it clear she knows how to do the job and is focused on fighting violent crime. He doesn't want another Martin focusing on prosecuting the President's enemies and whitewashing the events of January 6th and the relentless lying about the election results that caused it. I can appreciate the healthy skepticism! After all everyone wants a fair fight...unless they're cheating of course.

GET OVER HERE...and Stay Tuned!

So there you have it kombatants! The political arena remains as brutal and unpredictable as ever. Will Jeanine Pirro be a worthy champion or will she suffer a humiliating defeat? Only time will tell. But one thing is certain: I'll be watching...and waiting for my chance to yell 'GET OVER HERE!' at the next incompetent fool who dares to threaten the balance of power. FOR THE SHIRAI RYU!