Toasty Trip to Utah: Earthrealm Warriors Prep for Martian Kombat!

GET OVER HERE MARS!

Greetings mortals! Scorpion here reporting live from… well not the Netherrealm but Utah. Turns out some Earthrealm fools are playing dress up pretending to be Martian explorers. They call it the Mars Desert Research Station or MDRS for short. Sounds like a new fighting game league to me! Apparently they’re trying to figure out how to survive on that dusty red rock. Prepare for Kombat! Or… something like that.

Desert Heat: More Brutal Than the Netherrealm (Almost)

This 'MDRS' is run by the Mars Society a group of hopefuls who believe Elon Musk can get humans to Mars by 2029. Musk huh? Sounds like a weak sorcerer. This Urban Koi fellow some kind of 'health and safety officer,' claims the terrain is 'extremely similar to Mars.' I'd say the Netherrealm is slightly more challenging what with the fire and demons and all but whatever helps them sleep at night.

Morning Rituals: Breakfast and Brutality Planning

David Laude the crew's 'commander,' describes their typical day. 'We all gather around by 7 a.m. around a common table in the upper deck and we have breakfast.' Breakfast? I prefer souls for breakfast! Then they 'plan out the day.' Probably strategizing how to avoid getting roasted by space scorpions. Foolish mortals!

EVA: Every Villain Appears...Eventually

Apparently they have 'EVAs' – Extravehicular Activities. In NASA speak it means they wander outside in fancy suits. Sounds like a Fatal Blow waiting to happen! At least on Mars they wont run into Sub Zero. If they need some extra training I can give them a taste of true fire! GET OVER HERE!

Rhythm of the Red Planet: Keeping Alive is Kombat

Michael Andrews the engineer whines about getting into a 'rhythm.' Try fighting Quan Chi! That's rhythm! He says performing daily tasks 'keeps us alive.' On Mars or Earth or the Netherrealm. He seems to think the risk is lower here but all you need is one misstep to end up with a spine ripped out. And I am the perfect being to do it.

FINISH HIM! (…Eventually)

So there you have it. Earthrealm's finest are playing space soldier in the Utah desert. Will they be ready for Mars? Only time will tell. But one thing's for sure: if they ever need a real challenge I'll be waiting. TOASTY!