Trump Tells Putin to Can the Bulls***: Saul Goodman's Take

Aw Crap Politics Again

Alright folks Saul Goodman here your friendly neighborhood lawyer – and reluctant political analyst. Seems like things are heating up faster than a batch of Heisenberg's Blue Sky. The big man himself Donald Trump is apparently 'not happy' with Vladimir Putin over the whole Ukraine situation. "He's killing a lot of people..." Trump laments. Well ain't that just peachy? I mean world leaders squabbling? It's like watching Hank Schrader argue with Walter White only with bigger explosions and higher stakes. Let's just say this is not how I wanted to start my morning believe me.

The Blame Game: A Tale as Old as Time

Now the Donald bless his heart is pointing fingers faster than I can pocket a client's retainer. He's blaming Biden and Obama for Putin's little adventure saying the war 'should have never happened.' Sound familiar? It's like when Jesse Pinkman blames Walt for all his problems – a convenient but not entirely accurate narrative. "That was a war ... that should have never happened and a lot of people are dying and it should end," Trump said. Of course everybody always plays the victim. Just ask my clients.

Weapon's Pause? More Like a Negotiation Tactic

And here's where it gets interesting folks. A pause in weapons shipments to Ukraine? It's all part of the game. Just like when I negotiate a plea bargain sometimes you gotta pull back to get a better deal. 'Why don't you tell me?' Trump asks a reporter about the pause. Classic deflection! He knows more than he's letting on believe you me. Always look beneath the surface. That's Saul Goodman's golden rule clients!

Sweet Talk and Empty Promises

According to Trump Putin's been throwing 'bulls***' at the US. 'He's very nice all the time but it turns out to be meaningless.' Ah the art of the con! Putin's playing the long game buttering up Trump with sweet nothings only to do what he wants anyway. It's like dealing with Tuco Salamanca – you never really know what's going on in that cabeza of his. This is why you need a lawyer that can look past the charm. Someone like me!

The Call That Went Nowhere

Trump says his chat with Putin was a big ol' disappointment. 'I don't think he's looking to stop' the war Trump whined. Well surprise surprise! What did he expect a tea party and a peace treaty? This whole situation is messier than my office after a visit from Badger and Skinny Pete. If the world leaders need someone to arrange a "meeting of the minds" of sorts they know who to call! *wink wink*

Is This Real Life? Is This Just Fantasy?

So where does this leave us? Trump's unhappy Putin's doing his thing and Ukraine's stuck in the middle. It's a real 'Breaking Bad' situation wouldn't you say? Hopefully someone finds a way to resolve this before things get even more… complicated. In the meantime keep your friends close your enemies closer and your lawyer on speed dial. You never know when you might need him. *cough* me *cough*.