EU Trade Deal on the Brink? Let's Hope They Call Saul!

Deadline? What Deadline?

Alright folks gather 'round! Your favorite lawyer Saul Goodman is here to break down this whole U.S. EU trade negotiation shebang. July 9th huh? Sounds like a date… with disaster! But here's the thing and you gotta listen close: deadlines are like speed limits. They're mostly suggestions! Especially when you're dealing with the *Big Kahuna* himself President Trump. He's got more moves than a tango instructor at a senior citizen's dance. So should we panic and stock up on canned goods? Nah. But should we be prepared for a last minute Hail Mary? You bet your bippy! Just remember no matter what happens I know a guy who knows a guy who can *probably* fix it. For a fee of course. A reasonable fee I assure you.

Agreement in Principle? Sounds Like a 'Plan B' to Me!

Ursula von der Leyen bless her heart says a full trade deal is "impossible" before the deadline. "Impossible" is just a big word little people use to make themselves feel better. In my world 'impossible' just means you haven't found the right loophole yet! So Brussels is hoping for an "agreement in principle." Now an 'agreement in principle' is like saying you're dating someone… but you haven't actually gone on a date. It's a placeholder a promise a whole lotta hot air. But hey in the game of international trade sometimes hot air is all you need to keep the wolves at bay... and those 50% tariffs from eating your lunch!

OPEC Circus Comes to Town!

Now onto the fun stuff! OPEC's International Seminar is back in Vienna! I haven't been to Vienna since... well let's just say some things are best left unsaid. But oil now that's something I understand. Black gold Texas tea the stuff that makes the world go 'round! I used to know a guy who worked in the oil business. Let's just say he had some *interesting* ways of boosting production. Not exactly legal but hey desperate times call for desperate measures! Remember if you get arrested you have the right to remain silent. Too bad you don't have the ability.

The Good Old Days of Media Scrums and Not So Polite Terms

This article's author reminisces about the good old days when journos were fighting for soundbites with OPEC ministers. Those were the days my friend! A scrum is like a feeding frenzy except instead of sharks it's reporters and instead of blood it's awkward silence and half truths. And I hear the meetings used to be known by a much less polite name? Haha! If only walls could talk right? Oh and the author says that before COVID the meetings were biannual. What an absolute treat...

More Oil Less Problems? (Yeah Right!)

OPEC+ is meeting to decide on another output hike. More oil huh? Sounds like a party! But with crude prices doing the jitterbug it's anyone's guess what's gonna happen. And don't forget the CEOs of BP and Shell will be there probably whispering sweet nothings about potential takeovers. It's a dog eat dog world folks and I’m wearing Milk Bone underwear.

So What's a Shyster to Do?

So there you have it folks! Trade deals teetering oil barons meeting and yours truly Saul Goodman here to make sense of it all. Remember in the world of finance and international relations it's not about what you know it's about who you know… and how much they’re willing to pay to keep you quiet! Need a lawyer? Better call Saul!