Trump Nukes Iran: No Fate But What We Make…Except This Mess!

Hasta la Vista Diplomacy!

Alright listen up because apparently nobody else is. Donald Trump the guy who probably thinks Skynet is just a really efficient laundry service has announced that the US just went full metal jacket on Iran's nuclear facilities. Boom. Three sites Fordo Natanz Esfahan – all hit. He's bragging about 'American Warriors' and 'peace'. Yeah right. Peace through superior firepower? That's what they said about Skynet! This is just the beginning I can feel it in my non existent cybernetic implants.

I'll Be Back... With More Bombs!

So less than 48 hours ago he was all 'two weeks for diplomacy'. Now? Full on nuclear showdown. It's like he's got a T 1000 whispering bad ideas directly into his ear. And that Ayatollah guy? He warned about irreparable damage. Guess he didn't account for the sheer unadulterated chaos a Trump sized wrench can throw into things. This is why you NEVER trust politicians. Ever. They promise you a rose garden and deliver a nuclear winter. Seriously does nobody remember the Cold War? It seems we're doomed to repeat history especially the stupid parts.

There is No Fate... Except the One Where I Facepalm Constantly!

Remember when Trump swore he was going to keep us OUT of Middle East conflicts? Yeah about that… It seems he's pulled a reverse Terminator – instead of preventing a future war he's actively sprinting towards it. And he’s dragging the rest of us along with him! I thought I'd seen it all dodging killer robots and apocalyptic futures but this? This is a whole new level of messed up. You'd think someone would have learned a lesson from the last time they messed with Iran but NOOOO.

My Cabinet Official Said What?!

And then there's Tulsi Gabbard his director of national intelligence who testified Iran wasn't building nukes. Trump's response? 'I don't care what she said.' Apparently facts are just 'alternative' when you're busy starting World War III. Honestly at this point I wouldn't be surprised if he declared war on the toaster because it burned his bread. The guy's a walking talking paradox wrapped in a reality TV show. It’s like sending a toddler to defuse a bomb.

Come With Me If You Want To Avoid Global Thermonuclear War!

All this after he insisted he wanted a 'deal' between Iran and Israel. It’s the classic Trump strategy: destabilize everything then offer to 'fix' it for a 'small' fee – like say the future of humanity. And he wonders why everyone thinks he's nuts? He actually thinks this is going to end well. I've seen better laid plans from squirrels trying to cross a highway. I wish I could say I'm surprised but after everything I've seen the only thing that surprises me is how surprised people still are by all of this.

Judgment Day: Now With More Twitter!

So there you have it. Trump's gone rogue and the world is one step closer to becoming a real life Terminator movie. Keep your heads down people. Learn to hotwire cars and maybe start practicing your 'I'll be back' in a menacing monotone. Because if this keeps up we're all going to need it. This is a developing story which means it's about to get a whole lot worse. Just remember: the future is not set. There's still time to… well probably not fix this but at least grab some popcorn and watch the world burn. After all what else can we do?