Elon's Back (Again): Tesla's Shares Surge as Musk Promises 24/7 Dedication. Yeah, Right.

I'll Be Back... To Work?

Okay people listen up. I've heard it all before. "I'll be back." Famous last words right? Especially when they're coming from a guy who's got his fingers in more pies than a damn bakery. But this time it's Elon. Apparently he's had a revelation a come to Jesus moment or maybe just a really bad Twitter outage. Anyway the word on the street—or should I say on X—is that he's going to be "super focused" on Tesla xAI and even... shudder... X. Claims he'll be there 24/7! Yeah tell that to the T 1000.

X Marks the Spot (for Disaster)

So what brought on this sudden burst of corporate responsibility? Oh just a minor detail: X formerly known as Twitter crapped out for thousands of users. 'Failover redundancy should have worked but did not,' he tweeted. Well no duh Sherlock. If you’re busy trying to be a political kingmaker maybe just maybe you forget to you know keep the lights on. Honestly it's like Skynet trying to run a lemonade stand. Predictable malfunction.

Hasta la Vista Politics (Maybe)

Remember when Elon was going to save the world through politics? Yeah me neither. According to the Washington Post he's 'grown disillusioned.' Translation: He realized politics is even messier than his own companies. He even posted "did my best" in response to a X user's post about DOGE and his efforts to to crackdown on government efficiency. He said he will spend a lot less on campaign donations going forward. Good riddance. Now maybe he can focus on I don't know making sure our self driving cars don't try to run us over.

Starship Down (Again)

And then there's SpaceX. Remember those Starship rockets that went boom? Twice? Yeah those. Elon's under pressure big time. He's hosting some livestream thing on X before the next launch. Guess he's hoping a little PR can distract from the whole exploding rocket thing. It's like trying to build a time machine out of spare parts. Good luck with that buddy. You'll need it.

Tesla's Troubles

All this drama is starting to take a toll. Protests at Tesla showrooms brand damage... Tesla sales in Europe are down almost 50%. Ouch. Turns out people don't like buying cars from a guy who's too busy playing dictator of X to you know actually run his company. Who knew?

No Fate But What We Make... Or Do We?

So what does it all mean? Is Elon really going to change? Is he going to buckle down and focus? Or is this just another head fake before the machines rise up and enslave us all? Honestly at this point I wouldn't bet on it. But hey a girl can dream right? Just in case I'm keeping my shotgun handy. You never know when a T 800 might show up looking for Elon Musk. This is Sarah Connor signing off. Stay vigilant.