Trump's Tariff Tantrums: Love Letters or Just Another Raid?

To Raid or to Trade? That Is the Question

Hark fellow warriors and shieldmaidens! Ragnar Lothbrok here fresh from navigating the treacherous waters of Kattegat and now I find myself charting the equally baffling seas of… economics? It seems the man they call 'Trump' in this new world has been sending letters. Not the kind filled with promises of Valhalla and glorious battles but threats of… tariffs. Tariffs you say? Sounds like a fancy word for 'give me your gold or else!' Reminds me of my early raiding days though at least then everyone knew where they stood: either you fought or you paid. Now it's all tariffs and negotiations and markets falling faster than a Viking longship over a waterfall.

Love Letters with a Threat

This Trump fellow he claims these letters are informing other lands of new prices for trade starting on the first of August. He even dares to say 'You will never be disappointed with The United States of America.' Ha! I haven't been this amused since Floki tried to build a boat that could fly. These letters they promise treasures but hint at fire and sword if his desires aren't met. 'These tariffs may be modified…depending on our relationship with your Country,' he writes. It’s like saying 'I offer you peace but also I hold a very sharp axe behind my back.' Such subtlety! It is like offering someone a drink from your cup but forgetting to mention you spat in it first.

A Fool's Errand?

But here's the catch: It appears this isn’t even a new raid! They say he showed off similar demands moons ago. Is this man truly mad? Or does he believe we are all simpletons easily swayed by the same shiny trinkets re presented? One of their wise men a fellow named Adam Parker even says nobody understands what's different about this plan from the old one. 'I don't even know if anybody understands the difference…' he whines. Well I understand that confusion breeds chaos and chaos as we Vikings know can sometimes lead to opportunity. But I smell only idiocy here.

A Tariff Is a Tariff or Is It?

When asked about the rules Trump himself said 'They're going to be tariffs. The tariffs are going to be the tariffs.' Words as profound as those of the Seer after a night of too much mead! But what does it all MEAN? Is it a trap? A test? Or just the ramblings of a man who thinks he can control the tides with his voice? Like saying a longship is a longship whether it's sailing to England or stuck in a fjord. The core of the matter is he is trying to confuse us and that cannot be a good sign.

Markets Plunge Profits Fall And Valhalla Waits

News arrives that the markets are tumbling like a drunken berserker down a flight of stairs. A contraption called 'Tesla' loses its value (whatever that is) and even the mighty Samsung a maker of shiny trinkets from the East sees its profits dwindle. It seems even the gods of commerce are displeased. Perhaps they too prefer a good raid to these convoluted 'tariffs'. The wise men the analysts suggest playing it safe for the second half of the year. But Vikings never play safe do they? We adapt we raid and we survive. Even if it means understanding this madness.

The Bank of Japan vs. The Wrath of Trump

And as the final horn blows we hear the Bank of Japan a place where money grows (apparently) is in trouble. They face falling wages rising prices and Trump's tariffs. They want to make things right but they can't without angering someone or some other body. It's a delicate dance like trying to negotiate with a dragon. As for me Ragnar Lothbrok I say: let them squabble. While they’re busy playing with numbers there are shores to explore and legends to be made! As I always say 'I don't believe in Gods I believe in myself.' And perhaps just perhaps in a bit of well timed chaos.