Odin's Beard Will You Pay $3500 For An iPhone?!

The Dream of Valhalla or Just Fool's Gold?

So I hear tell of this… 'iPhone.' Not something we Vikings would find much use for on a raid but apparently these soft Southerners are obsessed. Now some loudmouth in your 'White House' thinks they can build these trinkets in their own land. Like trying to grow wheat in Norway I say! Obama Trump...they all want this 'Made in the USA' nonsense. It's like Haraldson wanting to sail West just a lot of hot air and stubbornness. But can it truly be done or are we chasing the winds of Helheim?

How Much Gold for a Shiny Rock?

These so called 'analysts' are blathering about prices. One says $1,500 another $3,500! For a bloody telephone? I could buy a longship for that! They say the current iPhone 16 Pro costs $1,199! What madness is this? Do these people not understand the value of a good axe and a sturdy shield? I bet Floki could craft a better device from driftwood and seagull feathers. All this for something that probably breaks when you sneeze on it.

The Army of Screwdrivers

This Commerce Secretary speaks of an 'army of millions' needed to assemble these things. An army! We Vikings build armies to conquer not to screw in tiny screws! Though I must admit an army of shieldmaidens assembling iPhones sounds… intriguing. And 145% tax!? Sounds like King Aelle is trying to steal all the iPhone users riches. This 'Trump' must be raiding someone else's treasury because 80% of the iPhone are made in China!

China: Where the Sun Always Shines on Cheap Labor

Apparently the Chinese get paid less than my thralls. A few coins and a bowl of gruel and they’re happy as clams! These Americans want a wage of… $16.50 per hour? By Odin's beard! I can't even afford to drink mead at those rates. No wonder Apple makes these things in China... 'tis cheaper than raiding a monastery.

The Failure of Foxconn's Folly

They tried this before you say? Some 'Foxconn' promised big things in Wisconsin and it ended up making… face masks! Hah! That's like promising a feast and serving turnips. The Gods are clearly mocking these Southerners. And 13,000 jobs promised only 1,454 delivered? Perhaps they should try raiding instead; at least that's honest work.

The Verdict: A Viking's Take

So can they build this 'Made in the USA' iPhone? Maybe. But at what cost? It's like sailing around the world to find a slightly shinier rock. Cook is sucking up to this 'Trump' fool. Too much talking of investments and factories. It's all about power and keeping the peace when the goal should be building the best bloody iPhone. If I were in charge I’d stick with China charge a fortune and laugh all the way to the longship. After all as I always say "Life is a question of courage."