Odin's Beard! Tesla's European Reign Faces Ragnarok

The Serpent's Slither: Sales Take a Dive

By Odin's beard! Word reaches me from across the sea – lands called Britain and Germany – that these 'Tesla' chariots of Elon Musk are not selling as well as he boasts. A fall of 62% in Britain and 46% in Germany? It seems even the gods of electricity face the harsh winters. Perhaps he should have consulted the Seer before embarking on this voyage. As I always say 'I believe our fate is determined by our actions,' and these actions it seems have led to troubled waters.

The Fury of the Northmen: Competition Arises

They say that these 'European' and 'Chinese' brands are challenging Musk. Competition is the essence of life isn't it? Like raiding a Saxon village you must be cunning and fierce. Musk plans to release a new 'Model Y'. A clever ploy but will it be enough? 'How little can change the world when you change yourself,' I once mused. Musk should heed those words.

The Allfather's Gaze: German Decline

In Germany only 885 of these Teslas were sold in April. Four months of decline! It seems the Valkyries are not guiding these chariots to Valhalla. A cumulative drop of over 60%? That's worse than losing a drinking contest with Floki! But I have seen worse. 'Life is a tragedy if you look at it closely but a comedy if you look at it from afar,' I said once and I think of this now.

Britannia's Bite: A Once Promising Land Turns Sour

Britain once a bright spot for Musk now sings a different tune. 512 new chariots sold a far cry from the 1,352 of last year. Their market share has fallen like a shield slipping in battle. Perhaps they need a good longboat journey to remind them what truly matters...pillaging.

Trump's Shadow: Politics and Protest

Ah politics! A game even more treacherous than raiding a monastery. It appears Musk's friendship with this 'Trump' fellow has stirred trouble. Protests vandalism...such is the price of power. 'Power is always dangerous. It attracts the worst and corrupts the best,' my father used to say. Musk should learn from this.

A Shift in Tides: New Rivals Emerge

While Musk struggles others thrive. These 'Volkswagens' and 'BYDs' see their sales rising like the tide. A 194% jump for Volkswagens! And BYD sees an increase of 311%. Perhaps they have better gods on their side. Still I always say 'Never give up. Never!' Musk should remember that even as his enemies celebrate.