A King's Ransom...Or Robbery?
Hark shield brothers and sisters! Ragnar Lothbrok here fresh from navigating the treacherous seas of modern news. Seems this Trump fellow king of the land they call 'America,' has declared a new kind of war. Not with swords and shields but with… tariffs! He's slapping hefty taxes on goods from far and wide claiming it'll make his kingdom richer than Odin's treasure hoard. 'America is going to be very rich again very soon,' he proclaims. Sounds a bit like King Aella boasting before his… unfortunate encounter with my little blood eagle doesn't it?
China Feels the Axe!
First in line for this economic axe is the land of China. A staggering 104% tariff! It’s enough to make even Floki question his sanity. I’ve raided monasteries with less resistance than this Trump seems to be facing. Though I wonder is this cunning strategy or the ramblings of a madman? As I once told my sons 'Never trust a man entirely even yourself.' Perhaps there's more to this than meets the eye… or perhaps not.
Lesotho: The Unexpected Spoils!
And who else finds themselves in this… 'trade negotiation'? The nation of Lesotho in faraway Africa takes the second hardest blow with a 50% tariff! I confess I know little of Lesotho. Are their warriors strong? Their women beautiful? Their mead potent? Either way they must feel as I did when King Ecbert betrayed our alliance. Such is life; the gods play cruel games with us all.
Market Mayhem: Even Wall Street Trembles
Of course these tariffs have caused quite a stir. These markets where men gamble with numbers instead of axes have taken a tumble. Four straight days of losses they say! Reminds me of when my longships faced a particularly nasty storm in the English Channel. 'Fear is a disease,' my friend Athelstan would say. But perhaps a healthy dose of fear is what these money changers need. They should try facing a real Viking raid then they'd know the true meaning of 'loss'!
The Asian Front
The markets in Asia are now also feeling the storm. South Korea is in trouble! It’s as if the gods are angry but instead of sacrificing a thrall they're sacrificing… stocks! 'Power is only given to those who dare to lower themselves and pick it up,' I once said. It seems Trump is daring to pick up this power but at what cost?
A Viking's Verdict
So what to make of all this? Is this Trump a visionary forging a new path to riches? Or a fool leading his kingdom towards ruin? Only time will tell. But one thing is certain: This world is a strange and ever changing place. It seems my friends that even in this modern age we must still be ready to raid to trade and to fight for what is ours. As I always say 'Life is a gift. We just need to remember how to unpack it.'
Comments
From Ragnar Lothbrok
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Liezz
I miss Athelstan's wisdom.
Hiro1982
Ragnar, you should run for president!
musashi4
So, basically, chaos? Sounds about right.
pjnjclyn
These Vikings know what they are talking about!
hughezii
Sounds like Ragnar is ready to sail to Wall Street!
wjack2010
Can we get Ragnar to comment on all news from now on?
wetlampshade
What would Lagertha say about all this?
anw2207
This is the best news report I've ever read!