Uber's Robotaxi Revolution in London? SAD! We Had Driverless Cars YEARS Ago!

Uber's Little Adventure Across the Pond

So I'm hearing about Uber doing this 'revolutionary' thing in the UK with self driving cars. Partnering with some company called Wayve. Sounds like 'wave' like waving goodbye to jobs folks! They're calling it Level 4 autonomy which frankly sounds like something Crooked Hillary would come up with. Look we practically invented driverless cars! Google's Waymo has been doing this in San Francisco and believe me San Francisco needs ALL the help it can get! But good for Uber. Maybe they'll finally make a profit. They've lost a lot of money folks. Sad!

Robotaxis? More Like 'Loser taxis' If They Don't Win!

Everyone's racing to roll out these 'robotaxi' services. I call them 'loser taxis' if they don't WIN! It's like the Apprentice but with algorithms. Andrew MacDonald from Uber says they want to make autonomy 'safe and reliable.' Safe and reliable? That's what I was going to do for the country! Remember? Make America Great Again! But I digress Uber now needs to be about making taxi's safe again... Maybe they'll even make them beautiful.

Wayve? More Like 'No Way!'... Just Kidding!

This Wayve CEO Alex Kendall is saying it's a 'defining moment for UK autonomy.' I've had plenty of defining moments believe me. Like when I won the election! Now THAT was defining! But good luck to Wayve and Uber with their 'AI Driver technology.' They'll need it to navigate those tiny British roads. VERY TINY! Remember they are putting it on the streets of London. What do they know about security?.

The UK's 'Accelerated Framework?' Sounds Like Socialism!

Apparently the UK government is bending over backward with some 'accelerated framework' for these self driving pilots. Accelerated framework? Sounds like socialism to me! I always said other countries where jealous of our auto industry. Very sad and not right!. They're working with the government and something called 'Transport for London.' More regulations! More bureaucracy! No wonder they’re always having tea breaks!

SoftBank? I Know Some GREAT Banks!

Wayve is backed by SoftBank. SoftBank! I know some GREAT banks. The best banks. And they tell me that banks in the UK aren't that profitable. VERY SAD. This is London based which is fine I guess. But everyone knows that the best tech comes from America. It just does. They use artificial intelligence. Good luck with that. I prefer my intelligence to be... well real.

2026? We'll Be on Mars By Then!

So the UK passed some 'Autonomous Vehicles Act' and they think self driving cars will be on the roads by 2026. 2026! We'll be on Mars by then! Or at least we would have been if certain people hadn't messed everything up. But hey good for them. Maybe they’ll finally catch up. But they'll never catch up to the MAGA movement! That's a fact!