Jungle Primary: Initial Reconnaissance
The pathetic humans are at it again. This time it's the orange haired one Trump stirring up trouble with the… what do they call them? Ah yes the 'Chinese.' Bessent and Greer two more trophies for my wall...er I mean diplomats are headed to Switzerland. Seems they’re having a little ‘misunderstanding’ about credits and debits. The air smells ripe with tension. Good… good.
If It Bleeds We Can Trade: The Tariff Wars
These primitive apes have engaged in a ‘tariff war.’ How quaint. Apparently Trump cranked up the tariffs to a whopping 145%. That's almost as high as my body count after a bad day in the jungle. The Chinese predictably retaliated. Bessent whines the situation is 'unsustainable.' He's right. All this talk of percentages is making my mandibles ache. No time for games.
De Escalation: Hunting Season or Ceasefire?
Bessent the talkative human says this is about ‘de escalation.’ What a load of Bantha poodoo. My thermal vision tells me that behind every handshake there’s a concealed blade...or in this case a trade restriction. He claims they 'don't want to decouple what we want is fair trade.' They all say that right before they stab you in the back. Or you know impose crippling import duties.
Switzerland: The Neutral Killing Fields
The meeting is in Switzerland. Smart choice. Land of chocolate watches and neutrality. Perfect place to stab each other in the back without anyone noticing. Greer will be there too babbling about ‘rebalancing trade relations’ and ‘protecting America's economic and national security.’ Blah blah blah. The Yautja could do better. They are all blind fools.
Trump's Big Game: Deals or No Deals?
Trump in his infinite wisdom seems annoyed that everyone wants to know when he’s signing ‘deals.’ He bellows that THEY have to sign deals with HIM. 'We don't want a piece of their market!' he screeches. Such bravado. Such foolishness. The hunt is on. Time to make some trophies. No one lives forever.
One Ugly Negotiation
So here we are. The humans with their complicated bartering rituals are about to commence. Will there be blood? Metaphorically probably. Will I get a new skull for my collection? Only time will tell. This is one ugly mother...of a negotiation. I am going to make masks of their skulls.
US China trade tariff war economic talks Switzerland Trump Bessent Greer He Lifeng trade negotiations de-escalation
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tonyrocks15
Switzerland? Sounds expensive. Hope they're not using taxpayer money for fancy chocolate.
bowen317
All this talk about trade makes my head spin. Just lower prices!
gabe
De-escalation? More like giving in to China.
eshoes
Trump is playing 4D chess. You wouldn't understand.
azz86
China is just waiting for Trump to leave office.
naomilovell
I trust Trump to do what's best for the country.
vbland10
This is all just political theater.