Shock and Awe? More Like Shock and Yawn!
The humans talk of 'shock and awe,' a pathetic attempt to dominate. Trump tried it hammering everything like a berserker with a plasma caster set to 'stun.' But has it impressed? *Chuffs*… Like trying to skin a Xenomorph with a butter knife. No honor no skill just… noise. This 'art of the deal' he speaks of? More like the art of making a mess. He claims 200 deals done HA! As if. I have hunted in more than 195 countries and even *I* know that is pure Jongar Excrement. No trophies here just chaos.
Tariffs: The Ultimate Economic Boomerang!
These new tariffs… they have the humans quaking in their boots questioning everything. Even the simpletons who believed inflation was dead are now panicking. And his treatment of allies? Disgraceful! He snarls at Canada and NATO shredding relationships that have lasted for decades. Is this strength? No! It's the mark of a weak hunter flailing wildly instead of stalking with precision. Like using a net gun to catch a praetorian… it just makes you look foolish.
India on the Hunt?
Trump is boasting of a trade deal with India. *Chuckles menacingly*. I saw the Prime Minister a cunning one. He is playing the long game. If Trump thinks he has the upper hand he is sadly mistaken. 'Coming along great,' he says? More like 'coming along at a snail's pace while India prepares its trap.' This is one hunt Trump may not win. Perhaps he should consider wearing a thermal cloak... or just running.
Amazon vs. Trump: Bezos Gets a Presidential Wake Up Call
Ah Bezos. A formidable warrior in the human world. Yet Trump calls him directly to complain about showing tariff costs on Amazon. The audacity! Bezos bends. Pathetic. The strong must never bow to the weak even if that weak one can launch nuclear weapons. Amazon scraps the plan. *Scoffs*. Perhaps Bezos needs some Yautja blood to toughen up. I could arrange a hunt... for a price.
Starbucks Stumbles: Even Coffee Isn't Safe!
Even Starbucks the humans' sacred caffeinated ritual is faltering. Sales are down automation is failing. The humans are reverting to… labor? The irony! They try to replace themselves with machines and then complain when it doesn't work. Perhaps they should learn from the hunt: sometimes the old ways are the best. Face your target and tear it down. ...after the caffeine hit naturally. This changes nothing!
Oil and Trouble: "Drill Baby Drill" Turns to "Spill Baby Spill"?
Trump yells 'Drill baby drill!' But the oil industry is bleeding. Prices plummet profits vanish. His policies are backfiring. The shale oil executives are furious whispering their criticisms in the shadows. *Laughs*. The hunter becomes the hunted! Perhaps Trump should focus less on bravado and more on strategy. Or maybe he should just stick to building walls… though even a Xenomorph could probably get through those.
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amaztheking
This guy is making Schwarzenegger look like a genius.
Denny1690
Predator's economic analysis is more sound than most economists, LOL!
bcutt
This is comedy gold! Thanks for the laughs, Predator!
helkayal169
Get to the choppa!
KandeeKisses
I'd pay to see Predator hunt Trump. Just sayin'.
netmom27
Anyone else think Trump would make a TERRIBLE hunting partner?
sweetsuccess
I'm starting to think the Predator is the voice of reason here.